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How do you deal with the stress in your life and overcome the feeling of guilt?

I have been feeling so stressed out lately. I also feel like I'm not being a good enough mom to my one year old. Lately every little thing has been irritating me and I find myself yelling at my son. I feel terrible afterwards and feel as if he hates me. I feel anxious all the time, I can't relax. I lash out at my partner when all he is doing is trying to help, it's destroying our relationship. I can't stop thinking, it feels as if I can't turn my mind off. Like I should always be doing something, and if I'm not doing anything I feel guilty. I was just wondering if any other moms feel this way, and what you do to overcome it and be happy. I need help!

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austysmommy

Asked by austysmommy at 11:22 AM on Dec. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You are not alone! I'm 49, my youngest is 19, and right now I'm feeling the same way. It's not easy to clear your head. If you can get a break, get out alone or with a girlfriend, or even better a date with your SO, sometimes that helps. I'm ready to hop in the car and go to a hotel alone for a few days.........
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:27 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • My mind used to race like that- in fact your post sounds almost word-for-word like what I told my doctor. He put me on a low-dose anti-anxiety/anti-depression medicine, & it helped SO MUCH. I'm my normal self again! No more yelling when there's nothing wrong, no more snapping, no more sleepless nights because my mind won't stop. I would say see your doctor- it made all the difference for me! Also, have you ever tried yoga? I do about 15 minutes in the morning now, & it helps set a calm tone for the day. Hugs, hope you find something that works!

    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 11:29 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Here is how I deal with it, and it has been really helpful: through an approach/process called Nonviolent Communication. I just got the book, my Marshall Rosenburg, and it has been SOOOOO helpful. It's all about being aware of people's needs, including your own. Good luck to you mama, and NO you are NOT alone!!!!!
    FelipesMom

    Answer by FelipesMom at 11:30 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • usually i deal with my stress by distracting myself with other things (probably not the best solution), typically music. music always makes me happy inside.
    devtdbosombuddy

    Answer by devtdbosombuddy at 11:32 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I know how you feeel :( This is the worst feeling!!!!!! I am searching for this same answer!! Glad to know someone else feels this wayy!
    staciepi

    Answer by staciepi at 11:54 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • It helps to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Thank you everyone for your advice!
    austysmommy

    Comment by austysmommy (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I feel like how I was treated as a child has effected the way that I deal with stress and pressure. I don't want my kids to feel the way that I felt when I was a child. My parents always yelled at me and never took the time to listen to me or show me that Im cared for.
    staciepi

    Answer by staciepi at 12:03 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I know what you mean. I feel like I was never taught how to deal with stress. I've never had so much stress in my life as I do now, and I don't know how to handle it. I've never been able to talk to my parents about emotional issues and I don't want my son to feel the same. I worry too much.
    austysmommy

    Comment by austysmommy (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Sweetie, just breathe. It sounds like you need some "mommy time". You need at least one hour a week where you get to do something for YOU. Get your nails done, do some yoga, have coffee with a friend. You need some time to just be you, and not need to think a bout all the stuff that needs to get done.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 12:11 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • BTW, it just occured to me- do you keep a diary? That helps me a lot. It's not really a diary so much as a "bitchy book", really. I write in it whenever I feel unreasonably angry or sad, just to get it out. DF knows that I write things there so I don't say them out loud, to work through them, & most of it is not very rational. He's never tried to read it, & we have an agreement that if anything ever happens to me, he is to burn it without so much as cracking the cover. & these ladies are right- time to yourself can only help you, even if it's nothing more that laying in your bed, with a soft blanket & popcorn, & watching a good movie.

    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 3:31 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

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