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Do I have to give her a gift?

I am finishing up my Christmas shopping, I bought presents for my ex's family from our children, and a gift for him from our children.

My ex cheated on me last year and left me for the............ yeah. They have a new baby as well. Am I suppose to include her child and her when I give the gifts from our children? I've never been in a situation like this before and IDK what is........ normal.

They are not married yet, they have to wait for our divorce to be finalized.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Dec. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • That should be their father's responsibility. It should also be his responsibility to buy his family presents from his children. I only buy a gift for their father from the kids and leave the rest up to him.

    Answer by parajumper3 at 12:05 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I know it's a tough situation. Been there, done that. But, think about the spirit you want to instill in your children. Do you want to teach them to leave someone out and hold grudges? Or do you want to teach them that sometimes the higher road is the way to go? Remember, also, this is your children's half sibling. As this child grows older, he/she will be being punished for the actions of the father and the rath/grudge of a previous wife. Again, I know it's hard. But, sometimes we just have things we do because it's the right thing to do.

    Answer by specialwingz at 12:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would say definately dont need to buy the gift.

    Answer by LoveMyKids0203 at 12:04 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • It's not necessary, but it could build some goodwill if you're ready. The baby is your children's half-sibling, and it appears the woman will be their step-mother, so your children will be better off if everyone is at least trying to get along and be civil; any little thing you can do to make the most of a bad situation may make your children's lives a little easier. If you're not ready to do something like that, then don't; I don't think anyone will expect it. I'm sorry you've been through such an ordeal, and I hope you have a really lovely Christmas with your children.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 12:15 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Hell no. I wouldn't be buying gifts from your kids to any of his family, your ex should be doing that.

    If you still feel as though the rest of the family is your family, then it is understandable, but his mistress and their baby? Not a chance.

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 12:17 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would think NOT are super nice to be giving a gift to him from your children...dont know if I would be that nice!

    Answer by rebeccadac at 12:38 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • You don't have to do anything, you do what you choose to do. If it's etiquette to get a gift for someone and you don't, it sends a stronger message than if there really aren't any clear guidelines and you don't buy a gift.

    I admire you for getting your ex a gift from your kids. I know you are doing it for them, not for him. Good for you.

    If I were in your position, I would not get the ___ a gift, unless my kids expressed a desire to.

    Answer by FelipesMom at 1:02 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would consider getting the baby a gift from your kids. The baby is their sibling and in no way at fault for the mom and dads action. As for the other woman if you wanted to get her something I would suggest a joint gift for her and your ex. But buying for her is not necessary it is your choice. Try asking your kids what they think would be the right thing to do. You would be surprised at how insightful little ones can be. Good luck and have a good Christmas....

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 1:07 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I don't get my ex a gift from our children. He doesn't get me a gift from them - my family takes care of that. However, I would be likely to get their half sibling a gift from them - much more likely to get the child a gift than my ex.

    Answer by missanc at 1:29 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • A gift is given because you want to do it, not because it is expected or someone else thinks you should. Do whatever you want to do without asking what is right.

    Answer by older at 12:04 PM on Dec. 17, 2010