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would you close child support if it meant that the father would quietly go away?

before i get really bashed by this. she does not see him. he is in a different state. he wanted me to give him visitations without any legal documentation that i will get her back. she is almost 2yrs old and i never recieved a penny of the child support. so its not really helping at all. so i just was curious. i am in school and i will be done in a year and half and will be getting a job any place i find one and will move if i have to and i do not want it hanging over my head. what would you do?

we were never married, he is not on the birth certificate.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Dec. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Then it is his loss. If he doesn't want to do the legally right thing then it's his problem and you have told him what he needed to do regarding that so that should be the end of that discussion and I would tell him that as well. But keep the child support coming he has a responsibility to his child to support her even is he doesn't want to take the time to really get to know her.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 1:17 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would. I never got child support because I didn't want him to have visitation, not that he cared anyway.
    jnd951999

    Answer by jnd951999 at 12:03 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • If hes not on the birth certificate, he has no rights to her. Unless he hires a lawyer and they subpoena you and her to go get a DNA test. Family lawyers are expensive though, do you think he has the finances to hire a lawyer and take you to court?
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 12:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • well he signed that he was the father when they went to court for child support. no he has no money to even pay for support. he has gotten his license suspended twice.

    oh technically he still has rights even if he is not on the birth certificate. i been doing research for almost 2yrs and he still can get visitations with out child support.totally different subjects.
    i have even spoke to a lawyer about it. just not sure if i should do it. i mean the support is for her if i ever seen it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:11 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would definitely cut off child support to get him to leave me alone. I was a single mom at 20 and the father was coming in every few months and I told him IN OR OUT, that he had to be coming on a regular basis. I had Welfare at the time and unfortunately, they demanded support otherwise I would have definitely stopped it to make him leave us be.
    HeartsCombined

    Answer by HeartsCombined at 12:13 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • If he doesn't have money to pay child support, I doubt he has money to pay for court to file for visitation.

    Is he telling you that he will fight for visitiation if you drop child support? Or is this just hypothetical?
    FatGirl239

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 12:14 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • no he said he was going to fight for visitations anyways but i have yet to see that. no he has never said to drop it. but he says comments like i started the court thing. blah blah blah. oh he makes comments about his suspended license like its my fault. so i thought it would jsut be easier for all our lives.
    not sure if that would happen. he just didn;t want it to be legally documented. he wanted to send diapers or pay next to nothing for like 5months and i was like no. i have to have it consistantly and he wanted not to get it legally documented to get alone visitations. and i was no. even a lawyer told me that. not to have him have over nights unless its documented so if its coming from a lawyer i think having him not be alone with her is a goo idea right now. so cutting him off might be beneficial for all.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:19 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would also advise you not to let him take her alone unless you have documented visitation schedule set up through court. Because he could just up and decide to keep her with no legal ramifications to him. If he has signed stating that he is the father then yes he has rights but it is up to him to follow the legal channels to enforce those rights. Stopping the child support wouldn't necessarily get him out of your life he could be insinuating that to get you to drop it then still try for visits and/or custody. Good luck.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 1:02 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • yep! i never took my BD to court because i didnt want him to have rights to her. you know your situation and part of being a mother is making hard decisions for your kids. you know whats best for your child, trust yourself.
    lateedaa

    Answer by lateedaa at 1:05 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • yeah i think he would still try for visitations just to be spiteful but maybe not. he needs to go through the proper channels. that is what i been telling him from day one and because his son's mother did not waste time like i am doing and did everything he thought he could get away with everything with me. i do think i am going to continue the child support. he can go through the proper channels. i am not going to hold his hand. its a hard situation considering i work on weekends and he lives 3hrs away. but he never wanted to skype or anything. there are other ways. he isn;t the first person that has a child out of state. he just doesn;t want ot make an effort. he wont go for custody because "he does not have time for a fulltime kid" those are his words. lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Dec. 17, 2010