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errr!!!! pick my battles?

im slightly annoyed at my 4 year old today. she had a half day at school, her sisters and i went early for her class party and took her home after. we promptly came home and had lunch (i bought her McDonald's for a treat, haven't had it in a while) and she kept bugging me for a piece of chocolate out of her candycane. I had to tell her a hundred times after she finishes her lunch, sit down, quit playing in the chair before you hurt yourself, etc etc. I realize she's probably both tired and excited from the party at school and coming home early. Now it's naptime, as I was getting the other two down i told her i'd be right there to tuck her in. meanwhile i heard her playing with this apple toy. when i went in there, i shut it off and hid it and told her no loud toys, it's naptime. she was really crabby too, she didn't want a hug or kiss or even her monkey. anyway now i hear her playing with the damn toy i specifically told her not to! but she's atleast in bed, so should i just let her be? most likely she'll fall asleep playing with it. or should i go in there and put my foot down about it? it seems like i have to get on her all the time about everything. im wondering if i should start "picking my battles". the only battles she wins is food ones, i let her decide if shes hungry or not.

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 12:17 PM on Dec. 17, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Sounds like you've got some brewing battles of control - she wants some and you want some. :) The question becomes when are you pushing for something that's really *that* important and when are you just pushing a trivial point to retain control. If the toy was that big a thing to have her not play with, I might have removed it form the room altogether. At 4 she likely still lacks the impulse control to ignore something that's calling to her and sitting in sight. ;) Honestly, though, if it's not waking your other children and your 4 yo isn't coming out of her room or being otherwise disruptive, I personally would let it slide.

    Going forward, start really picking your battles. Give her control over what you can - let her pick out her clothes if you don't today. Let her pick out what the family is having for dinner once a week, etc. The more 'control' over her own life you can give her, the less she'll try to grab.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:26 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Let her be - sheesh!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I pick some battles, but its nap time, she is crabby and you already told her not to play with the toy. I'd go in there, take the toy, tell her it is nap time, and even if she doesn't feel like sleeping it is to be quiet. And then I'd leave.

    If she continues, keep up with her.
    FatGirl239

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 12:21 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would let her be. If she is not waking up the other children and if she is really tired she will more than likely fall asleep on her own. If the toy is to loud then I might go in and tell her she can't play with it.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:29 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would go get the toy from her and not say anything to her.
    pbilotti

    Answer by pbilotti at 12:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Pick your battles? Yes. But I would pick this one. Go in there and take her toy, tell her its nap time, and give it back to her after she gets up.
    bellsandheels

    Answer by bellsandheels at 12:27 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • >she's like one of those puppies that goes crazy after being stuck inside all day<
    LOL! I have one of those puppies!! He's a 7 month old Golden Retriever and man, can it make a mom nuts!! :)

    I want to add - Your goal is to get this nap in right? If you think she'll fall asleep with the toy, that's something to consider. IF you go in and take it, does that send up a tantrum and battle that proves counter productive to sleep? Don't get me wrong, I don't give in tantrums at home. Tantrum is the best way to NOT get your way in our house. BUT, if my goal is to get a kid to sleep...well some times I'm willing not to let on I know they're up to something they shouldn't be (within reason) *IF* I think sleep will be forthcoming and especially if I think my intervening for this one offense will be counterproductive to sleep. ;) I also give a grain of salt to things this time of year - I'M excited and energized. Imagine the kids!
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:44 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Why don't you take her outside and wear her out running around the yard while the others are trying to get to sleep? She was hyped up from several things...Party...off school early...McDonalds food and chocolate. Give her a nice glass of milk or water to dilute all thatstuff she consumed.

    notjustmom213

    Answer by notjustmom213 at 5:02 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • lol @anon. sorry but im stressed today and she's so high-strung she's like one of those puppies that goes crazy after being stuck inside all day- only she hasnt been stuck inside all day!
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 12:21 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would go in there, take the toy, tell her that she is sleeping now, and walk away. tell her if she is good, and sleeps quietly, she will have a surprise when she wakes up... up to you to figure out what it is!
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 12:24 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

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