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5 Bumps

How have you handled S/Os of your adult children that you don't like?

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ceallaigh

Asked by ceallaigh at 1:47 PM on Dec. 17, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 24 (19,921 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Eh thats a tough one. We had to ignore our step daughters husband the best we could until she finally had enough and divorced his azz. Not only was he an illegal and got his work visa based on the fact he married her but he also physically and mentally abused the crap out of her. We begged her not to go back but her mommy convinced her it was the right theng to do but her mother is a moron.

    All you can do is be there for them when they need you and cope with the SO until they realize they dont want to be with them.
    My folks HATED my last b/f and thats all they could do was wait for me to wake up. What they didnt know is it was worse than they thought. The mental abuse really had me scared.
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 1:50 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • First I made it clear that my home was not going to be disrespected by her and if she couldn't deal with it find the door. Other than that I kept my mouth shut and waited for the relationship to fall apart. I knew it would..and it did.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:51 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • My mom hated my ex. She saw it before I did. But she told me I needed to figure it out myself because there was nothing she could have said to convince me and that I would have been mad and done it anyway. Basically saying, it was mine to deal with, and she wasn't having to share a bed with him. She was always cordial. Never too nice, but cordial and decent as long as he was behaving.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:51 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Well I am not in that position but I would say that as long as they are respectful to me, it's my children's life. After all, I don't have to sleep with them, live with them, or rely on them to help with finances.
    Just keep it to politeness and nothing more.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:52 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I like and love all my children.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:52 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • My 24yo son was married to a controlling and abusive woman for 3 years. We treated her with extreme kindness because we could see her for what she was and knew that if we ticked her off even a little bit she would cut what little contact we did have with our son off. TG he woke up and decided he was tired of being a punching bag for her fists and her words in August and left. She never knew how much we detested her and he didn't either, we knew we had to bide our time and wait for him to see what we saw because he didn't, he loved her & he didn't want to fail in his marriage. We would listen to him and offer advice when we could but mostly we didn't do anything to spook him and make him withdraw from us. Other than her I have liked all of the females my 4 sons have been with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I don't have adult children, but my parents hated my ex. They always tolerated him and were polite to him. However, they also made sure he understood up front what would and would not be tolerated in their home. They made it clear to him that there were certain lines, if he ever crossed they would not welcome him into their home again. They also made sure he knew that our son and I would always be welcome there with or without him!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 1:55 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Wow, older, I'm just so happy for you that you love all your children, especially since that's really irrelevant to this question.  But, heh, thanks for the input.

    ceallaigh

    Comment by ceallaigh (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I like and love all my children.


    That great and all, but I don't think you understood the question. She meant what do you do when you don't like your kids boyfriend/girlfriend!
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 2:01 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Umm, be an adult. This sounds too much like a controlling parent situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

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