Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter's not doing too well in school..

I've tried encouraging her but I don't know what else to do. She won't listen to anyone about doing extra work. And if I try to help her she immediately takes offence to whatever I say. Tips please! I'm at my wits end.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • Take away her privileges and sign her up for tutoring in school or at home if possible. Explain to her that it is her job to get good grades and that if she doesn't keep them up she loses her privileges such as going out and television, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • You need to talk to her and find out what is going wrong. My Mom use to intentionally make us angry so that we wouldn't care what we said and she could usually get an honest answer. Not say you should try that, just that it worked for her a lot of the time. She may be having a problem that she is afraid to tell you about. Whether it be personal or academic. Maybe even a learning disability that hasn't been diagnosed yet. Possibly depression or a bully at school. You may also want to try counseling for her.
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 3:09 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • You may have to go to the school counselor to seek help for her school work. It can be very difficult to get a head stong child to listen, but stick to it and dont give up.


    http://www.cafemom.com/group/48748/

    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • There are up to nine ways children learn. It's possible her instructors are not teaching using a method that is conducive to her learning. If she isn't understanding the material I doubt she would admit to it for fear you'd think she was "dumb". I'd talk with her teachers and ask for advice to see if they can pin point a pattern to her difficulties. Could she be dyslexic? Does she need glasses? Has she had her hearing tested? Any of these things could contribute to having problems in school. Is she focused on something other than schoolwork? Are things ok at home? Is anyone bullying her in the neighborhood or school? Is she what my mom used to call boy crazy and not concentrating on school work? Could she be ADD and be daydreaming in class? I'd ask the teachers for pieces of this puzzle.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:55 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • tell er what doing her school work will get her. maybe reward her for good grades, children love praise.
    also, maybe she should be more organized because she might not be doing her work because she feels overwhelmed (sounds silly, but my daughter went through that around then, so she always missed school, but once she was organized she liked going)
    gracellen

    Answer by gracellen at 5:56 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • There could be so many things going on. One thing that comes to mind is that she may have a learning difference. It used to be called learning disability. But there are many types of learnng disabilities. She may not know what is going on or why she isn't able to follow through like the other kids. Many kids who have a learning difference are seen as lazy, not living up to their potential, oppositonal, moody, and sloppy. You can request that the school do testing through the school psychologist. Depression can also impact a child's inablitity to pay attention. Talk to her teachers and see how she gets a long with her peers. Depression also comes with learning differences.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:44 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • cont...Teachers are a good place to start - but remember they are not counselors. So they may have a guess but it might not be accurate. You can't tell by looking at someone they have depression, anxiety, or a learning difference. If there is a school social worker or therapist it may be a good idea for her to talk to one.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:48 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.