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Need wise advise for my child who is violent when angry

About six months ago she said she had had sex. Wouldn't give me details, stating that it was none of my business. I was like......... ok but got her into the Dr. a week later and told them I wanted her on the shot. Not sure what to do I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just EXPLODES! She has put a whole in her bedroom wall, kicked in her bedroom door, broke a mirror, broke the bathroom towel rack, and her latest tantrum she tried to throw my dining room chair out my living room window. Her language is colorful to say the least and she says how she hates her life and wants to either kill me or herself.

Enough said, ya get the picture. Has anyone else delt with this problem and if so what did u do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • anger management or DBT classes, and a psychiatrist and or psychologist.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Nov. 8, 2008


    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 4:37 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I'm sorry that is happening. What kind of relationship is she in and who is she hanging out with? Sounds like she isn't happy and I would find out what the source is and how to get things calmer. This is a trying time with this age ,I can tell you. My kids get moody and say things to hurt and we are supposed to let it roll off our backs. Hurtful but we'll look back and they will return to being human again. Good luck

    Answer by Rebecca02 at 4:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Your child has something going on. Whether it is medical or emotional there is definitely a problem. If she has threatened to kill you or herself..take it seriously. She needs help. If she won't even talk to you you may have to go around it the long way. Next time she becomes violent or threatening call the police. Next time she threatens to hurt you or herself...have her admitted for 48 hrs psychiatric evaluation. Tell her before hand. You and I need to talk. Your behavior is not going to be tolerated. If there is something we can do to help you , you need to tell me. Otherwise, the next time you threaten harm or become violent I WILL call the authorities. Cont'd


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:48 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I know it seems very harsh. Sometimes as parents we have to make the hard decisions based on what is in their best interest. I understand what you are going through, I've been there myself. Calling the police on my son was the only option left to us. Some yrs later now he has told us he was glad we did. Don't get me wrong..he was ANGRY for a long time. Then he grew up...and found Mom and Dad weren't as stupid as he thought we were.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:49 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • get her into therapy and family therapy. Good luck my hear aches for what you are going through..but you need to get her help NOW!

    Answer by Mimomof3boys at 10:50 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • This is probably the wisest advice you can get, because it's coming from someone who was in a similar situation to your daughter.
    Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do in a situation like this. It sounds like you really love and want to protect your daughter. One of the only ways to do this is to get her into therapy. If she doesn't want to go, I strongly suggest calling the police on her if she gets violent again. Yes, this will make her extremely angry (it sure did make me mad!) but it will give you both something you might need: a judge to tell her that she MUST go to therapy or she WILL go to jail. I know this sounds extreme, but it may be what she needs if she doesn't go on her own will.
    If you'd like to talk more about what happened between myself and my family, and maybe understand more why she's feeling this way, please feel free to message me.

    Answer by oh__you at 1:11 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • therapy. I wonder if the violent behaviour is due to the sex. or if the sex was part of the violent behaviour. Worth investigating.

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:14 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Thanks for the feed back.Therapy is on the list for sure! As for the police, been there and done that. they say I'm her mom, my problem?? Nice.I think of those parents that have tried to abandon thier children because they are at the end of thier rope. I can understand. I'm there with mine. =(
    I know things will get better BUT Its tough!

    Answer by comalita at 7:45 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • My daughter seems similar to yours. We have her in therapy & on meds now. She's very resistent to therapy & taking her meds, but we told her if she doesn't help herself, we won't help her in any way other than the basics (food, basic shelter (no door to her bedroom), basic clothing (what she has & only what she needs to survive), no luxuries including car, money & 'electricity'. She gets 'electricity' taken away for short periods when she is out of hand. This means anything requiring electricity is tgone for SHORT periods of time (1 day tops or the behavior will continue, because she knows it is gone for days, & there's no motivation to behave.) She's lost: internet, TV, computer , & worst of all,cell phone. It has been working for us (after short time of anger & testing on her part) She now understands we mean & are consistent.

    It's worth a try!! Good luck!

    Answer by Kmlatta at 9:01 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

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