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2 Bumps

So all of a sudden my ex wants to see my children whom he hasn't seen in 12 years...his choice!

My kids are 13,12,9. They do not care to see him. i live in louisiana and he has moved to texas. He is demanding to see them now that he is finally paying a little child support! My son has autism...(high functioning Aspergers actually) daughter is bipolar. I sacrifice so much to maintain a stable home life for them. I refuse to let him see them. told him to get a lawyer. am I wrong for this?


Asked by harris4 at 8:00 PM on Dec. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,449 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I don't think you are wrong in doing this. My oldest son's father is not in his life and when he wanted to be involved, when my son was 10, I was like let me ask him what he wants. He didn't want to be involved with his father so I said no not right now. I think you have every right to tell him to get a laywer. If you have to go to court Good Luck with everything!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:04 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • no you are not wrong. its been a very long time. the courts might still schedule visitations if he goes to court. however, it might be supervised visitations and they might take into account they are older and they might have a say. i would try to get him to come visit with you there. if not i would talk to a lawyer yourself and make sure you are covered. good luck

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:11 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • No, I do not think you are. Make him do it the legal way. If he want to see the kids. If he does that. Get him for child support.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:03 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Louise has a point, if he goes through the legal process, it may show a little more care on his side.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:05 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Child support and visitation TWO different issues (Legally) !
    It does not matter (and you can let him know that) if he is paying support, that he does not have immediate visitation rights! And, b/c he has not been involved and your children have other health concerns there is definitely red flags for supervised visitation first so the kids can even get to know him! Let him take this to court whereas you have a voice for your kids and their concerns first. Good luck

    Answer by gambilldl at 8:11 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Well, it's hard to say here. Are they saying they don't want to see him based off things YOU have told them? Because then it would be wrong. If they just don't want to see him, and it wasn't influenced by others involved then it's fine.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:04 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I agree with louise2 get back pay on all the child support. It's not right he suddenly wants to see them. Especially with their medical needs that's just going to confuse them. Id make him get one too.

    Answer by Heidikans at 8:05 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I'd do the exact same thing!! If he hasn't seen them in that long I'll be surprised if he follows through on anything- good luck =)

    Answer by skittles1108 at 8:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I would fight that tooth and nail baby! NOT after allllll this time has passed. Plus your kids are older now and the judge will take their feeling into account. No worries.

    Answer by salexander at 8:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Um music mom80...I haven't told them anything but that some people aren't ready for the responsibility of a family! I would never say anything out of line about him to my children, cause they may internalize it and feel bad about their selves!

    Comment by harris4 (original poster) at 8:07 PM on Dec. 17, 2010