Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

child custody is an issue, are they really giving men equal rights?

My lawyer told me that my three month old baby would spend four days with me and four days with his dad. What a life that would be. Im scared that might actually happen.

Answer Question
 
com_wat_may

Asked by com_wat_may at 12:19 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • OMG!! i went thru this 4 yrs ago!! (however my daughter was 3YRS old at the time) but it was 5 days on and 5 days off!! and i said OHH HELLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!! i would not, could not, did not let that happen! your son is a baby!! he needs mom!! especially if you are breastfeeding. luckily the whole 5on/off thing didnt work for my ex either..he didnt want her. but omg, i remember being super pissed at the judge when he suggested that for us! another reason it never woulda worked was because he lives an hour away from me, and neither of us drive..plus my mom was my babysitter for when i worked..and she was gonna be starting preschool..and he woulda had no way of getting her there..but yaaaa..terrible!! im all for dads being in the kids life..but..no..not that way!! especially in your case when baby is so young!!
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 12:27 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I couldn't live without any of my kids, but my baby is one now and the only way I could figure to keep him was to get married. I don't know how to stop the four day thing from happening. I'm in school and gone alot so that opens the door for the father to take him. The funny thing is that he always finds a way to get out of babysitting when I need him to. My life is a joke right now.
    com_wat_may

    Comment by com_wat_may (original poster) at 12:35 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Good luck and just stand for your rights!
    Hesmynavyman

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 12:53 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I have heard that this is the type of custody being suggested these days. I as well find it absolutely outrageous. I don't understand how never having a permanent home is in the best interest of the child...it even outweighs the benefits of seeing both parents equally. I have always said that if my fiance and I ever get divorced, there is no way in HELL I would allow that type of custody to happen. Not to mention, different households different rules, different parenting styles, etc. etc. It is too much for a child to adapt to. I thought I heard though that when your child is an infant, they cannot do custody like that until the child is older? I can't imagine the stress it would put on a baby! Omg good luck with that. I would fight it with every ounce of my being. Are you breastfeeding? They legally cannot take your child away if you are breastfeeding.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:20 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • A co-worker of mine just had this same thing happen, and what she an her ex did was purchase a side-by-side duplex home, and then installed a connecting door between the two units--which can be locked from either side. LOL SO they are able to have their separate lives, but their children don't have to be shuttled all over the place! Hey, it works for them! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:48 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • What ever happened to the mother being more nurturing. It is true that the mother is more accepting and loving than a father I just don't see how they can go away from the every other weekend and one day a week thing. It hurts me soooo bad and there is almost nothing I can do about it because the judge will decide what is best. Why does someone else have to telll you how to live your life. I am breastfeeding, but he can take me back to court as many times as he wants to as my baby gets older. His mom is pushing the issue which makes it even worse.
    com_wat_may

    Comment by com_wat_may (original poster) at 6:28 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Need a little advice...

Next question overall (Home & Garden)
can a landlord....

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN