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Is it stupid that this irritates me? (MIL question, a little long)

I am 15 weeks pregnant and the past month has been the hardest in my life! I am student teaching, I have a 3yo son, I've had extreme morning sickness with this pregnancy, my husband has had a rough time with work lately, and we're moving into a new house. My MIL helps watch my son while I work sometimes (my mom does most days, plus she has her own business). MIL is retired and sleeps until noon most days. She has been backing out on watching my son a lot lately (doctors appointments and shopping trips) and has been constantly complaining about not feeling well or being so overwhelmed. Things like this usually don't bother me but I've had so much going on that it's starting to tick me off a little. I know that it's very fortunate to get free child care from her (when she decides to do it) but when I see what my mom does (watches my son, works, helps me with the move, takes care of my father, etc.) it really bugs me. It sounds to me like she is trying to back out before baby #2 gets here but I'm not sure, plus she's not the most confrontable person in the world and I could cause WW3 if I address this. What would you do? Also, would this bother you too?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Honestly, its her choice to watch your kid or not, and you shouldnt be upset that she doesnt want to sometimes. Its your moms choice to help you so much. It isnt you MILs fault that you are so busy and have so much going on, she didnt put you in this situation, you did.
    I know it sounds bitchy, but I dont think its fair to be upset with her

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Boy you really have a lot on your plate! But like the other poster said, these are all a result of your choices. I am a teacher--I had already earned my Master's years ago, but after being a SAHM for 8 years, I decided I couldn't resume my former fast-paced, time-consuming career, so I went to school to get my teaching certificate. But when I went back, my children were 6 and 4 and my husband was able to work from home 3 days a week--6 yo was in full day school and 4 yo was in a half-day preschool program, so I didn't have pregnancy or too many child care issues to contend with.

    That said, how much longer do you have to complete your student teaching? Can you explain/work out a schedule with your mother and MIL that it'll only be an inconvenience for "x amount of weeks/months?" And PROMISE her that you'll make it up to her--shopping trip treat, a couple of nice luncheons?

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:45 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • maybe finding another childcare option would take a lot of stress off!

    Answer by rebeccadac at 4:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • She may not be up for helping raising her grands or getting to heavy in that department. When my children were younger my mom told me "hey I raised my you do yours". I was not happy and broke nose until my grands.....five now.....came along. I am tired, sick and three of them are 11,11 and 12.....ugh!!!!!!!!! Now I am done, I raised mine they can do there's. Sounds yucky but I am being truthful.


    Answer by rosetoes at 8:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

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