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cheating spouse in Iraq

What do i do i caught my husband of 3 years talking to another female soldier he is currently in Iraq i dont know what to do. they work together and i found a couple emails

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lizp818

Asked by lizp818 at 2:02 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • What, exactly, do you know? What were the emails like?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 2:11 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Well....ask. maybe they are emotionally attached and it has not become physical yet. You need to find out if he still wants to work on your marriage. You can't force him to be with you.

    I hope things turn out for the best. It will hurt either way. stay strong.
    oliviahank

    Answer by oliviahank at 2:13 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • first thing you do is confront him or email the other woman and ask her how long she has been F#$*ing your husband.
    the fact is disrespecting you and the marriage. Emotional or physical cheating hurts the same. He is doing it because he is selfish and only thinking about his own needs. their is always a choice. My husband cheated on me a year and half ago and we are still working through it. You wont believe what he says when you confront him and no answers will be good enough. you have to deciede and you dont have to deciede right away but you have to deciede if he is going to be as committed to the relationship as you. you are probably going to compare your self to her, blame yourself for your problems and feel pain like you never have before and then oneday you are going to move past the emotional side and start thinking about who you are and who he is . Change starts now.. its too late to unread the emails. confront him
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 10:37 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • p.s. whatever his reasons for cheating will never be good enough reason to betray your marriage and your trust.. You may be able to save the marriage but its gonna take a lot of work and you wont trust him while he is still depolyed and will probably wake up wondering if he is emailing her while he is on the computer and wonder if his feelings for her are more then his for you... i read lots of books gone to counseling and it all comes down to selfishness. will he stop being selfish and put the marriage first from now on? only time will tell the sooner you get it out in the open the sooner you can start making decisions for yourself.. yes i am still with my husband and we are working at it.. its hard, it hurts and no one can truly understand your situation, but i encourage you to try counseling and join some spouse groups her on cafe mom where people can relate. you can PM me if you want to
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 10:40 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • oh and you can also report it to the command and get a no contact order.. but check with the FRG and the command on that ,,, print the emails. you are going to want to keep them, trust me on that.. and then he cannot say that you are lying
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 10:42 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • i agree with naivedream completely it would be best to take her advice and get that no contact order
    91brarmywife

    Answer by 91brarmywife at 11:02 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Be sure honey!!! Let it go if your not!!! Do not start anything that cannot be finished. He is away and this can wait. Put this in a box and put it away until you two can work on anything together. Promise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    blowing kissesMichelle

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 7:59 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Well make sure he is cheating for sure first. Then decide if you can forgive him. If not then you should leave.
    Betutah

    Answer by Betutah at 11:24 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

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