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I have just found out I'm pregnant, my children are 13 and 11 yrs old. I feel apprehensive as I am worried about the age difference and the huge change this is compared to the relative freedom of having a 13 and an 11 year old. Is their anyone in my shoes who has been through this how did you cope?

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taylorlea

Asked by taylorlea at 2:08 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • DS,11, was almost 9 when I found out that I was pregnant with our 2nd son. At first DH and I panicked that we we're starting all over again, but what a blessing he is! He helps to keep me young and we're always on the go. I have found that I am a much calmer mommy this time. 1st DS has been a huge help. When the baby was first born he learned how to change diapers and helped with all sorts of things. Now he helps to watch and entertain his brother. He's going to be a great daddy one day. All I can tell you is sit back and enjoy this new chapter of your life with your new bundle of joy and I hope you get the same feeling of not knowing what you ever did with out this surprise! GOOD LUCK!!!
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 2:22 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I thought I was done having children when my twins were turning 18! Surprise I got pregnant! This was nine years ago, I am still shocked but honestly I would not have it any other way. She keeps me young! She is my best buddy. DH spoils her rotten and we both adore her. Once the shock wears off if ever, enjoy every minute!
    Noosa

    Answer by Noosa at 2:25 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I do not know how to make them be okay with it. But I can kind of guess how they will feel. I mean they are already getting to the teen stage where they are going to be extra sensitive and emotional, and just a teen in general. You are bring a baby into their life as well and I'm sure they don't want to be waking up all hours of the night because they hear a child crying. And they may feel like you might ask them to help with the baby, and depending on how your kids are (because I don't really know) they not only will fear that you may rely on them for help and may be very scared to take care of a child even for a minute. Like I said I do not know how to make it okay. But I'm sure they will see when the baby is around it won't be all bad. Just general worrying, maybe even a little anger towards you. I mean before I had my baby I hated children, and my mom mentioned that she wanted to have another baby when I was 17! I died!
    MarvelousMama

    Answer by MarvelousMama at 2:33 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Luckily for me my mom never ended up having a child, or even trying. So I honestly never had to deal with it. But let me tell you when she said that I was scared to death for so many reasons.
    MarvelousMama

    Answer by MarvelousMama at 2:35 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I'm not going through the same thing, but I think it would be awesome to keep the two kids you have involved in the pregnancy and when the baby comes. If you're lucky, your older kids will be the best protectors of your soon-to-be youngest than any hired hand.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:47 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • This is my first time on this site or any site relating to an issue. I am so glad I did. Thank you "moms" you put a lot of apprehension at ease and I have smiled and thought about everything you've said thanks girls such great advice and comments.
    taylorlea

    Comment by taylorlea (original poster) at 4:28 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • My mother had my sister when I was 11-12. I loved it! I had 2 brothers and always wanted a sister and now I am like a second mother to her. I am there for her when my mom 'just dont understand'. Ive been there and now Im there for her when she is going through it and I am older so my judgement is a little better than hers. She comes to me with anything... regardless of the age difference she is my best friend. When I was 13 Im not going to lie, people started thinking she was my CHILD!!! I hated it!! but would correct them all the time and go over it and we grew to have a wonderful mother/daughter like relationship as well as sister/sister relationship.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 2:51 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I was 18 when my mum had my brother, he's almost 8 now. It's great because we get on really well and I have a 3 and half yr old who idolises his uncle, it's so nice when we get together as a family.
    MeAndLo

    Answer by MeAndLo at 3:01 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Lol. I'm sorry to laugh but I remember my mom's first reactions finding out she was pregnant again at 42... I was 17, and yes all with the same man. While she couldn't beleive it she soon embraced the pregnancy. My brother is 9 now and everything is fine. Sure she gets annoyed when I parent him instead of doting like I did when he was 2 but she also gets peaved if I pick on him just like any big sis would do. My next youngest brother is 19 now and even though the age difference seems pretty big they bicker and argue just like any brothers do. I was the oldest with all my siblings and I loved it.
    GoldenLinds

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 3:42 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I havent been through this situation personally but thought i would tell you about my mothers case. I know you will feel 100% better. I went 23 yrs without any siblings and then bamo..here comes my lil brother. so yeah 23 yrs apart everywhere i go they think he is mine cause he looks just like me. My mother was 19 when she had me and 42 when she had my brother so u can tell how she was feeling about the whole thing. Really weird thing is that she didnt find out she was pregnant until 6 mths later lol. I am now pregnant with my first and my lil brother is an uncle at age 5. wishing u the best of luck and hope this makes u feel a lot better:)
    Evie101682

    Answer by Evie101682 at 10:16 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

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