Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Baby son's family are jerks.

DH has a large family and most of them live nearby, but rarely (I am talking once every 3 months) come over to see the baby, or help their mother (my MIL) out. One brother we suspected stopped seeing coming over to see baby because we didn't pick him as Godfather. The sister would rather look at pics of him online than see him in person, and she lives about 20 minutes away. Only his younger brother, who we did pick as Godfather, does anything to help out with the MIL AND FIL besides my husband, and he also comes to visit our son every week. Kind of makes me sad for my son, since I have no siblings and my extended family doesn't live near us. A lot of my husband's extended family are trashy and I wouldn't want them around my son. But his aunt and uncle? Shouldn't they want to spend more time with him? Granted, they are not the best role models for behaving like adults... so maybe it is for the best. I just wonder how I am going to handle this in the future when my son is old enough to realize and understand that his family are a$$holes.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Don't feel bad if they don't come to see him your soon doesn't need them anyway like you said they are a$$holes
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 5:10 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • My hubby and I rarely see either of our family - regardless of proximity so, be happy you have a GF who sees your soon weekly and a MIL and FIL close by. Unfortunately, we can't control how others act.
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 5:17 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Well the only way your son will know his family are assholes is if you keep telling him they are. Even if they are let him decide this when he gets older. In the mean time he has his mom and dad.
    wowiemommy

    Answer by wowiemommy at 5:32 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • My family dont even know my children my mom my dad nobody ....but I was once like you ...want your child to know his family thats understandable but not all things work out the way we want . All thing happens for a reason maybe its a blessing hes not involved with those suckie people one day there gonna come looking for him and hes not gonna want anything to do with them.

    Mizzsweetooth

    Answer by Mizzsweetooth at 5:24 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Some people don't relate well to babies, but when he gets a little older, that may change. Sounds like you would like them all to be around more, and that might be what happens in your family, but everyone is different. Don' get into the habit of saying to yourself what "should" be, because it's different for everyone. Another mom might feel that family constantly coming over would be an imposition. Give them some time, and don't complain about anyone to anyone, it will get back to them and cause friction in the future. Whatever happens to a child as they are growing up, will seem to be what's right. You may have different feeling as an adult, but he won't go around thinking "why don't they ever come to see me" unless you put that in his mind. You can't force a relationship, it just has to grow over time. Besides, why are you so interested in them being there if they don't make good choices. What kind of role model is that?
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:10 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Well, we cant chose our relatives- but we can choose how much time is spent w/ them. From what you've said, it probably is for the best that contact is minimal. In addition, people have busy lives & probably feel keeping in touch w/ phone calls & the internet will do when they cant find time for "face time". As for helping w/ your MIL/FIL, the siblings need to have a family meeting & work out a schedule to help them. The burden shouldn't be placed on just a few. (although it often is) Another possible solution would be a visiting nurse. Hope you work it out. (As for your child, plz dont impose your opinions about his relatives onto him. He'll form his own opinions as he grows up.)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:05 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Fortunately your husband and you are his family. Like you said they are not the best role models. If you were different you may not have even noticed. But you have noticed, maybe they also sense how you feel????????

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 7:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

Next question in Relationships
men..... adult content

Next question overall (General Parenting)
My poor baby help me out moms