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Maid of Honor Question

I have multiple questions: has anyone ever been asked to be a MOH - that is of two MOH? My sister wants two MOH and at first I was surprised and then said sure.. it's your wedding you should do it however you want. But, now that she is starting to get into the wedding planning she really isn't including me but just the other MOH. Is this how it goes? I am starting to feel like she felt obligated to ask me. So, should I tell her thanks but since she is clearly using one MOH I should back out? Of course, I also know my sister and she does like money.. and having two MOH provides her with additional funds to tap into if you know what I mean... I know, cynical right? Just hard to not think about it as the only things she has mentioned have been money related.

 
Camilletnt

Asked by Camilletnt at 5:14 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,896 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I think she wanted to give you the honor of the title b/c you are her sister. If I were you, I would enjoy the fact that you dont have to be caught up in the time & expense (for now) of the planning she is doing w/ her other MOH. I'm sure in keeping w/ tradition, you will be involved in the planning of the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, and so on. Try not to rock the boat, contribute only what you can afford & help your sister have her special day. :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:51 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Its your sister and you know her better than anyone if you feel left out of the MOH duties and be asked only when its about money then the best thing is to excuse yourself and be just one of the guest before it is too late to back off.
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 5:26 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • So why don;t you just ask her if you can be one of the bridesmaids and not the other MOH? That way you'll still be involved in her wedding, but without having to foot as much of the bill! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:01 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Yeah.. that's what I think too.. just sad to do it and with the holidays particularly so. I don't want to upset her, but I also don't want to be upset either. I am pregnant and the last thing I need is this additional stress. Thanks
    Camilletnt

    Comment by Camilletnt (original poster) at 5:29 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Aw sorry to hear that but you know what ?that's It! I know its sounds bad but you should use your pregnancy as an excuse to back off telling her that you feel very very tired and not able to fulfill your roll in the way you want. I know that you feel sad that she is acting like this but at the end of the day family is the way it is and sometimes they don't do things to upset us they just don't think about what their doing is best for you to back out before the day is to close and then is going to create a serious problem.
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 5:41 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I can understand you dilema, but I would not back out. It sounds like she wanted to honor you, but maybe is having the other girl do more because you're pregnant? I would be glad to not to have to do the extra work. Plus with another MOH, that means you're splitting things, so it seems like less money. Don't get roped into anything you can't afford. Just say, I wish I could, but I can't". You can use the excuse of being pregnant for that. Perhaps she'll be giving you a baby shower later?
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 7:29 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I would act as if I were a brides' maid and nothing more. If that is the role you are filling, that is the role you should be paying for. I'm not sure what a maid of honor is expected to pay for, but being pregnant you have plenty of things in your own life to spend money on.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:30 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • This one is non-negotiable, be the maid of honor. Do what she wants. She is the bride. Otherwise this will forever stay between the two of you honey.


    brideMichelle......... the bride is always right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 6:50 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

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