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2 Bumps

do you think its acceptable when family members get special treatment on the job?

my husband works for a family-owned company, the business was started by a now elderly man who still works there, his son is now the boss, and his son's son is an employee. so basically grandpa, dad, and son. anyway, my husband works 49 hours a week at that job, 9 of which he gets f*cked out of and paid his regular hourly wage, but apparently this is ok in a small family owned business. the son comes in atleast 2 hours late everyday, hungover might i add, or calls off every so many days "sick" and dad doesnt do anything about it. yet my husband gets crucified if he asks to get off a half hour early or so to make it to his daughter's school play. sure, call me bitter. i just dont think this is right. family or not, what is this kind of behavior setting him up for the "real" world? he most likely will not always work there and if he does this at another job he'll be promptly fired after the second or third incident. this guy's not a teenager either, he's in his mid-20's and perfectly capable of learning schedules and responsibilities.

do you believe this is acceptable?

i realize there's nothing i can do about it other than bitch about it. i just would like your thoughts please and thank you!


Asked by tnm786 at 7:37 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • There's unfairness just about anywhere you work. So the chances are that if your husband changed jobs, he would run into the same problems. I think the key is to just do your job as best you can, and try to ignore all the favoritism and all the rest.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:56 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I can understand how you feel outraged by what's happening to your husband, but there is nothing you can do except listen when he vents, and be supportive of him. If it really bothers him, then he should look for another job. If that's not a possibility right now, then you should be calm when he's upset. Listen, but don't add to his discomfort by egging him on. That might make him end up saying or doing something at work that would end his job. The situation is unfair, but it's not likely to change. Sometimes we just have to live with unfairness to get what we want, which in this case is a job that supports his family.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 7:45 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • It is extremely unfair, but unfortunately nepotism is never going to go away. They are definitely not doing this guy any good by letting him conduct himself in this manner, reality will soon hit him in the face once he leaves the family business. Hang in there, maybe one day your hubby can find a better company to work for:)


    Answer by shanlaree at 8:19 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Perhaps your hubby should look for a new place to work. Really, even if it isn't fair, it's still legal. I worked for my dad and I'm sure people thought I got all kinds of special treatment. I did - but I was pregnant with my second while I worked for him. No other employer would have cared anywhere near as much about my health and the health of our child.

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:53 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Fair or unfair, that is just the way it is in every family owned business. Blood is always thicker than water. Business is business. I would just suck it up and continue to do my job. People suck wherever you work.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:40 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Fair? no. Reality? yes. If hes working 9 hours free every week id quit.

    Answer by bseastrand at 11:02 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I think some people are blind to the things their children do. Sounds like that's what's happening there.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:18 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • family will always be first with a Family business. very difficult work environment and it will never get better only worse. hopefully your hubby can hang in there till this recession has passed.

    Answer by lillie70 at 12:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Blood is thicker than water. It's not fair and aggravating, but that's what happens with being the boss's son. There is nothing you can or your S/O can do, but just be there for each other, you be a compassionate listener when he vents, and you vent somewhere else also. Other than that he'd need to consider a new job, and that shouldn't be what happens either.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 1:05 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Yes and No - Your husband should track and document all his hours if he calls the local department of labor hours and wages division and provides detailed information, the dol will investigate and your husband may get the overtime pay going back up to three years plus interest - the company will be fined and monitered. As for the performance and behavior of family members of a family business - the bottom line it is a "family business' and they can do as they like it is just not a winning battle.

    Answer by mrsljamieson at 1:02 PM on Dec. 19, 2010