Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Parenting can either be a one to two person job or it can take 6-10 people

Parenting takes the effort of every person involved in your childrens life on a regular basis. such as it can take the efforts of my parents and my husbands parents plus the effort of my sister and her husband along with my husband and myself to teach my children how to act, these are the people who are in my childrens life if not daily every other day... or it can take my husband and myself to teach my children right from wrong and how to behave.... if others go against what I am trying to teach my children (to listen, and when the adult says no.. it will not change just because you say.. but mommy (or whoever) i want to do this... i have such a hard time balancing my childrens behavior because when they go to the grandparents or aunts and uncles they are able to get away with A LOT MORE. and pitch fits to get what they want..... so Today I plan to let them know.. either you get on board and stop letting my children act however they want at your house just to come home and try it out there... or we can happily teach them how to behave all alone. i'm so fed up with having to "remind" everyone else that "we aren't aloud to act this way, or do that" when they all are well aware of it just choose to not enforce it

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 8:15 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It definitely takes a village to raise a child.  Having that village on the same page is very important. 

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 9:26 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I think it's a good idea for children to learn that there are different rules for different places. They soon learn what they can do where. Rules are different at school than at home. I'm assuming your children are very young. They are just trying to play you, and if you are consistent in saying that you may be able to do that at grandmas, but this is the rule here, it will be fine. You really don't want to start drama with the family, and I'm sure you really don't want to cut them out of your children's lives, but just realize, that they may have a different way of treating your children than you do, but unless it's something that's really going to physically hurt your child, , then you really need to relax a little about this. If there's one thing that's really bothering you, then say to the other family, we're really trying to teach them that pitching a fit won't get them what they want, so can you support us on this?
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:25 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • but that is what aunts and uncles and grandparents are there for. i understand where you are coming from but that is the best part of being NOT the parent. like the other poster said. there are different rules for different places. just keep consistent with saying when you are with mom and dad you do what we say. and when the other people are with them they do what they say. hang in there. family is tough. i know i have a hard time with my parents but as long as you are consistent they will understand sooner or later.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:38 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Its just me and DH doing the job here
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:58 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I understand exactly what you are saying!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm proud of you for saying something b/c I haven't found the "balls" to speak up yet.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 9:04 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Good for you. It is important that those individuals respect your boundaries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Good job! We did limit our kids' time with certain grandparents when they were younger because there were no rules at all and the kids lived on sugar while there. Our kids were monsters when they came home, like an addict coming off drugs. We talked several times about this with my MIL, but of course she never listens. She always made it a huge hassle for her to see the kids anyway (if she found out we had plans, that is when she would "drop in" or want us to come to her to visit).

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:15 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • As far as I'm concerned, family members who do not respect the wishes or instructions of the parent(s) are NOT people I would leave my children in the care of!!

    If you put your foot down, the other family members will either put up or shut up! Either way it will be a win-win for you.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 11:22 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • i had this problem with my parents when my oldest was little. i understand it's the grandparents "right" for lack of better word to spoil their grandkids. but if i specifically tell them to put her in time-out if she does this and later find out they let it slide that bothers me. or giving her 3 cups of chocolate milk instead of 1 followed by water. it was very very hard for my mom to grasp this concept. she may have raised me on sugar and stuff and thats why i battled weight issues growing up. everything is okay in moderation and she just didn't get that. we argued so much about it and she on more than one occasion told me i was a "mean mother". im like no, i just believe in mother-child relationships not friend-child and i will teach my daughter respect, manners, good food habits, etc. now she has come around to my idea after my daughter stopped listening to her at her house, and she will back me up now.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • It takes a village to raise a child. If I am not there to see my child act inapporpriate, I hope a family member or friend will correct him. My family and friends know what I will allow and not allow so they are pretty good about correcting my child and letting some things go.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:28 AM on Dec. 18, 2010