Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

interfering grandparent

my daughters ex mother in law, interferes all the time, she makes doctors appointments without my daughters knowledge or permisson because she does not believe my daughter. she makes hair appointments etc. its got to the point where my daughter feels that she not a good mum. shes been a parent since she was 16 and I'm dam proud of her shes a mother to 2 beautiful girls. we've tired talking to the other grandparent but she does not listen whats our next step. surely its not legal for her to make appointments behind my daughters back.

Answer Question

Asked by kay178 at 10:09 AM on Dec. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • My friend set up a password with her drs office so that noone could call and make an appt or request information of any kid without that password. Make sure it's something she'll never guess or figure out. Something totally random. I'd tell her if she doesn't knock it off she won't be allowed in my childs life. That's really overstepping her boundaries. That's the mothers job.

    Answer by bseastrand at 10:13 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I would call the professionals that you deal with and tell them that all appointments will be made by your daughter and no one else. They are not to take appointments from any other person.

    Answer by elizabr at 10:15 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • thats a great idea, thanks

    Comment by kay178 (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • The Hippa laws prevent this. Your daughter needs to speak the doctor's office and put a stop to this.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:16 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • All I can say is what a beotch.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I agree to talk with the doctor's Office Manager or send a letter to the doctor directly stating that only your dd can make the appts and your dd will not be financially responsible for any appts she didn't make and didn't show up to. Some offices require you pay a penalty for not showing up. They don't want to lose money for saving that time for her when the MIL makes the appt and she doesn't show up so they will gladly listen to your dd.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:50 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • The grandmother is overstepping her bounds and I would tell her that if she doesn't STOP, she will NOT be seeing the grandchildren. Your daughter is the parent, NOT her. When she makes appointments, call the doctors office and tell them that you did not make the appointment and that NO ONE but the MOTHER is to make appointments or recieve any information. I had to give written permission for anyone but me to make appointments or recieve information on my son. There are 3 people allowed to do that an no one else. As for haircuts, if someone took my child for a haircut, I would be livid!!! It may be time to limit contact with grandmother dearest until she learns her place. Tell your daughter to document everything that grandmother dearest does...dates, times, who was there and what happened.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:09 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Why does your daughter feel compelled to do ANYTHING her ex-MIL tells her?! She has no say in what your daughter or her granddaughter do or don't do...that is absolutely ridiculous!! In addition to violating HIPPA laws, how does the MIL even GET access to your daughter's medical records, appointments, etc?!

    I'd switch doctor's and NOT tell the's none of her business!!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 11:10 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I would have your daughter sit her down and say you are welcome to my house in a Grandma like role and if you cannot spoil and enjoy the grand kids you cannot come back until you reconize I am the parent and you are not. Set the rules change doctors and most of all tell your daughter until she puts her foot down it will not happen.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:36 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Call the doctor's office and tell them what the grandmother is doing and let them know that only your dd will be making the appointments and not to let the grandmother make them anymore. They will prob be more then willing to help because they don't want appointments made that the children won't go to. I have her tell the grandmother that if she keeps it up, she will no longer be seeing the children

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:57 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.