I love him very much... I don't know if these feelings are valid.
We're hurting for money. Like... hard. We can afford the very bare minimum of things we need. Like, we're putting off buying the kids some things until we see what they get for Christmas. We're spending $20 per kid for Christmas, I need things that we can't get, like pants (I have one pair of jeans and they're falling apart, need some nursing pajamas so I can keep the heat lower at night and not freeze, potholders, a saucepan, etc). I have to be SOO careful with the grocery budget. We don't have a crib because my daughter just broke it, so THANKFULLY we co-sleep, but now I have nowhere for the baby to sleep if I did want to put him in his own bed. It's no fun.
We have cable and internet service. I can't complain too much about the TV because the early cancelation fee is something we can't afford, but there is no fee for canceling the internet.
I get a lot of enjoyment out of the internet too, don't get me wrong. I would miss it. But I'd rather spend the money on clothing, or something else we need. My husband treats it like a necessity because he plays online games... htat's his way of winding down.
But if I wanted to spend $66 a month (which is what we pay for his subscription fee for the game and the internet combined) on something that we didn't NEED right now he would say it was wrong, no matter how much we both enjoyed it.
I'm really starting to resent that he gets this luxury when we are depending on his mom's gifts of winter clothes for the kids and I have one pair of pants that are coming apart. He needs work clothes himself, but he goes without too.
I don't want to take this from him. I love him and I know how much he loves the game. I know it helps him unwind at the end of a day, and he works really hard. But it takes time away from the family and we really can't afford it without sacrificing something we really shouldn't be doing without.
Are these feelings valid? If they are, how do I GENTLY bring them up with him? I have tried suggesting canceling the internet before and he just flat out said no, and I can tell if I press the issue he will get defensive and angry. He will realize that his family is going without for something he doesn't really need and feeling guilty will make him defensive and then we'll get nowhere.
To be fair, I can't THINK of anything I spend money arbitrarily on, but I'm sure I do. Treats I guess... once in a while I buy junk food. Maybe $10 a month.
I don't know. I don't want to feel angry or jealous for invalid reasons.
Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by m-avi at 1:01 PM on Dec. 18, 2010
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Answer by mommy2be0611 at 1:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2010