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what should i do with my mother-in-law?

My mother-in-law hates me and its so annoying because i've been such a nice person to her and she doesn't care.She's mad because my husband used to give her money every week and now he doesn't,i mean were a family now and we have to focuss on ourselves.She's married but she still wants for my husband to be giving her everything.Sometimes i feel like my husband blames it on me,i don't know what to do girls,help.

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sharon17

Asked by sharon17 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • First talk to your husband. Get that figured out...how he feels about it, how it sometimes makes you feel, and how his mother treats you.

    Then, HE needs to put his mom in her place if she is holding that against you. Other than that, I would be polite when around her and ignore her any other time.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:06 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • i agree with the first comment. you do need to tell your husband how you feel and how she makes you feel. thats his mother so he needs to put a stop to it. if my mother-in-law was mean to me i would expect him to tell her how it is.
    mommy2be0611

    Answer by mommy2be0611 at 1:10 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I have told him that he needs to put her in her placebecause i've been nothing but nice and respectful to her,but it's like he scared to confront her or he just doesn't want it to get worse.it gets me so mad because i feel like he's not defending me.
    sharon17

    Comment by sharon17 (original poster) at 1:14 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • If she'smarried why was he giving her money? That's something my step kids want is money from everyone they are young enough to work if i can so can they.
    I would have a long talk with your dh about this and come to some kind of terms and then he is the one who needs to tell his mom the money train stops.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 1:17 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Sounds like she needs to grow up. Why does she need her son to give her money? Makes no sense!
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 1:18 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • im also wondering if mom in law feels threatend by you ..like thats her boy.that you stole now she is alone ..for lack of a better term i my son were still alive i think that i would have been this way,he'was my little man ,i know its wrong but maybe they had an issue and he's all she has ,thanks for being respectful,i know its hard and in the long run if mom in law isn't being nice get the husband in check or he can live with her again...lol
    onaugh

    Answer by onaugh at 1:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • i would say.."we are your family and if at any time you needed help with something we would be more than happy to help if we are in the position to but we have bills to pay and a family of our own..we can't just be handing out money"..don't just hand her money. if she were to need a perscription filled..i would take her and buy it for her..or if she needed help with a bill..and you could help..then i would make sure it was paid..i would never just give her money though.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Here is what I did when my inlaws tried to suck money out of DH:

    I had a family finances meeting just us as a married couple where we discussed bills, debts, income, savings, and the expenses we were about to incur bc we were expecting our first baby. We wrote it on a ge dry erase board.

    DH saw that we only had some chump change left at the end of the month. He got really nervous and cancelled the gym membership and really stopped his incidental spending. I didn't even have to ask. I just showed him the numbers.

    A few days after that his brother came over and demanded that DH buy him a computer. My husband said, "I've got a pregnant wife. Get yr own lazy ass up and buy yurself a computer. I can't keep giving you hand outs. Never ask again."

    I was shocked! It has worked so well! I think the big white board with the huge numbers on it scared him straight.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 1:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • This is very vague but the rule for me and my hubby is
    1. Never talk badly about the other's close relatives
    2. You deal with your family, I deal with mine

    Sounds like that may help you
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Talk to him, see how he feels about it. Whether he sees things the way you do or not, he should still be talking to his mother, there's no reason she should be treating you badly. Just let him handle it and keep being sweet to her. Best wishes :)
    Raccoon

    Answer by Raccoon at 1:23 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

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