Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

DH and my parents ALWAYS bickering about each other

Any body else ever have this problem?!?!?!

Mostly just need to vent....

It seriously seems like every day my mom is either calling and bickering about how my husband isnt doing something right or something along those lines and when it is a day that she just calls to talk and he over hears something she is talking about as soon as I get off the phone he starts bickering about her and asking me not to call her as much...for example we got new phones yesterday through a new carrier and thus we got new phone numbers my mom today says *keeping in mind she knows nothing about cell phones* how is so and so, such and such, and all these other people going to get ahold of you guys now that you have different phone numbers?! I explained to her that we would simply give them the new numbers and that was that....THEN! I get off the phone and my DH starts complaining about how "did she really think I am that stupid not to already have thought about that and taken care of it?!"

I stood up to my mom yesterday for the crap she says about DH and appologized for him "not being good enough for me" and she denied ever thinking that *she hasnt said it but is totally the impression I get most of the time" and I stood up to DH just now about trying to get along with my parents....

Does anyone else seem to have this problem too?! How do you handle it?! I am going insane!!!! Yes there are some things I do not appreciate about his parents but I keep my mouth shut so I dont upset him because I know my nagging isnt going to change them why cant he just do the same?!!?!?!?

Answer Question

Asked by NessGuinness at 1:51 PM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (414 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • i can relate for sure. my husband has learned to keep his trap shut though about my parents. they help us out a hell of a lot more than his lazy ass mother so he may not like them for whatever reason but i do not want to hear about it. they have been nothing but helpful to both of us and our children! we've gotten into some rough patches and my parents aren't that fond of him but they dont' say much either. my dad can't stand though when he comes over and we have 3, 4, sometimes 5 bags of trash piled up on our porch. he's old fashioned and believes it to be the 'man's job' and will say something about it. i love him for this though :) it gets hubby off his ass and to the dumpster quickly! my mom is also telling me a lot he should help with the kids more rather than play video games all day. and i agree with her. my parents and yours too im sure are only looking out for our best interest. our hubbies dont like to feel inferior.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:56 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Just tell you mother that you don't want to hear her complainingabout your husband. Ask her how she would have felt if her mother had complained about her husband. Tell her if she starts complaining, that you will end the conversation, because it's just too stressful for you. Say it nicely. Then if she starts it, just say, in a friendly voice, sorry mom, gotta go now, talk to you later, and hang up. Do the same thing with hubby, then if he starts it, say, oh sorry hon, I have to go check on the laundry, start dinner, whatever, and leave the room. You may have to try it several times before they get the hint, or just abruptly change the subject. Don't comment on what they've said, just start talking about something else-have something in mind, like the latest movie, or just anything. If they ask why you did what you did, say I don't want to hear complaints about mom/hubby.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 2:30 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I am sorry but I think that if you are married then you need to stand by your husband. If the tables were turned how would you feel if you felt like you had to constantly meet his mother's expectations. I think your mother is crossing the line and is causing unnecessary problems in your marriage. Once you get it through to you mother that she needs to keep her mouth shut about her opinions as far as DH is concerned you might be surprised how your husband may change his tune. If I were him I might feel they same way about mommy dearest and say and act in a similar fashion. How would you feel about his mother if she were constantly calling and belittling you to him and you felt that he wasn't sticking up for you. You said that you finally told your mother to knock it off-good stick to your guns and make her abide by it.

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 3:14 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • No, my family likes my Hubs more than me for the most part

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 1:13 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.