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How do you handle your child's friends who are always late?

My daughter (14 yrs) has a friend who is (and her family) ALWAYS late.... but not just 10-15 min late..... late to where it effects my whole family, the saftey of my daughter, and at times she will call after she is late and cancel. I hate to end a 5+ year friendship.... but this is gettting crazy. Talking to the parents doesnt help because they are part of the problem. What to do???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  •   You have to decide what is best for You, AND your child. Anyone who put my childs safty at risk would NOT be allowed to see my child. Period! Some people have NO sense of being responsible or being  on time. I wouldnt want my child learning bad habbits from a friends or the friends family.


    http://www.cafemom.com/group/48748

    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 7:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Does she catch rides with you to school or church? I would leave without her a few times and tell her, "Look, we just cannot afford to be late anymore, so you've got to get here on time or miss the ride!" Might sound harsh, but sometimes the lessons we learn the hard way are the ones that remain in the memory the longest.
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 7:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Heres a crazy idea,Say you want them home by 9 so you say.You have till 8.30 to be home.Then when she shows up at 9.15 she really isnt that late.A trick I used on my older son
    fearful5

    Answer by fearful5 at 11:06 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • It doesn't matter. Maybe you should buy her a cellphone, so you can ask her why shes late and then you can be more understanding. Because her friend is late, there is no reason to end a relationship.
    thats the stupidest thing i've ever heard. by ending friendships, you get nowhere. so don't even consider that as punishment for anything, ever.
    gracellen

    Answer by gracellen at 5:40 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I cannot stand people who are habitually late! It shows a lack of character, and in your case, a lack of respect!
    That is why I do not carpool (whether it be me or the other parent doing the driving) or rely on anyone to take my kids to and from any where.
    People don't function like I do, and to have to worry if my daughter (in particular) got to her destination on time is something I don't want to have to think about.

    These are the same idiots who arrive at the movie theater late and wonder why they can't find a seat. These people have no idea just how insensitive they are!

    To answer to your question/concern...if this is making your own child late for school, sports, etc., then make it clear to the other parent of the situation. You say that they don't care; well, when their kid doesn't get picked-up then they might, just might wake up.

    Posted by Paige
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Well I am late every where and I do have a strong character, along with a moral center and good kids.
    So I am wondering how is this effecting your whole family, and the safety of your child?
    If this person is bringing your child home, go and get your child. If your driving their child some where for some reason go to their house and get her. If they have to meet you at your house to drop their kid off to have you drive their kid some where tell them your leaving at (what ever time) if there not there with in 15 minutes then go with out them.
    If it is a problem for you and your whole family then just do what works for your family. They can just deal with it.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 8:23 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I had to chuckle a little at this because it made me think of my mother. She has been one of those "late" people for about 30 yrs. I think she started doing it on purpose to rebel against authority and now she can't help it. We had a baby shower for my sister in law and it started at 2. I asked her to be there by 1:30. I think it was almost 4 when she finally got there with the cake. It took me a long time to get over it. I have tried to change her many many times and it never works. She ends up feeling controlled and shes an adult. What I do is just deal with her. I don't give her responisibilty that I am going to be disappointed in. You just drive your own kids and let them be. DOn't count on them changing.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:31 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

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