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3 Bumps

Ex wives and kids?

I have a 19 yr old stepdaughter with downs syndrome. DH ex wife who is her mother, is so jealous of me she is trying to keep his daughter from him. She loves me and we do our nails together and such. I have 4 boys so I am excited to have girls finally! What could we do to get her to come around w/o having to take custody from her?

Answer Question
 
gatorswife

Asked by gatorswife at 3:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,131 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Her father has the right to see her and if a court order for visitation is not in place he needs to get one.
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 3:08 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • She's jealous of your relationship with her daughter. She is in contempt of court if there is a visitation agreement. I would contact the police department and see if they can do anything other wise he might have to see a lawyer.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 3:11 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Just tell her ur not trying to steal her i mean she is apart of your life we no she is mom we are just excited she is a girl n enjoy the little time spent :)
    premiemom18

    Answer by premiemom18 at 3:28 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • try talking to the Ex and try to get her to understand that you arent trying to be her mother, you just enjoy doing girl stuff b/c you are surrounded by men all the time. I know the feeling, I have 3boys and a SO! LOL!
    AingealsBabies

    Answer by AingealsBabies at 3:53 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Well, you still don't have a girl, SHE has a girl with your husband. Stop trying to "play mommy" and that should help. If my ex was with some and I felt like she was trying to play mommy with my dd I would be pissed too. Is there a court order? If not, she is technically not doing anything wrong. I see that you said the child is 19 years old? Then shouldn't be visitation because she is over 18.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:23 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • You do have a right to be in her life! The mother is being selfish for not wanting her daughter to be happy with her Dad and his new family. You really need to let your husband talk to the ex wife and let him explain that you just want to love her to and he's lucky to have found someone that is so caring for his special needs daughter. The Mom might also just be scared of how her daughter is going to be treated, you have no clue what families go through with mentally challenged children, it is the hardest and best thing anyone will go through. You really find out who your true friends are and fake some people really are. My brother turns 32 tomorrow and he has downs syndrome and still lives with my parent.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 5:59 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • That is rather touchy...... maybe the 3 of you could try something together (Nails, a movie, bowling) and see if it's awkward or not..... and then she could see that you're a safe healthy friendship for her daughter to be a part of
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:08 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • What I am wondering why there is visitation with a 19 year old?
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • She has downs syndrome, she has the brain mentality of a 10 yr old. I am not playing mommy but I will not have her come over and treat her like she isn't here b/c her mom is a bitch. I don't care how pissed she gets. They have joint custody and her mom is addicted to everything under the sun. DSD does good to bathe herself and her mom tries to use her for a housewife so she doesn't have to do anything but sit on her fat ass and take her drugs. I am trying to make this girl feel like she is loved instead of slaving her! She would rather be w me and DH than her mother. She has even called me "mom" ON HER OWN! I'm not going to turn her away, I don't care who it pisses off!
    gatorswife

    Comment by gatorswife (original poster) at 12:36 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I didn't know that you could still get visiation after 18 no matter what the situation, at least that is how it is in my state. I would say play by the mom's rules because this will go on as long as you are with the dad if he gets visitation even though she is and adult
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:02 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

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