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How do I repair DH's broken heart? (inlaws)

Today was apparently the last straw. dH told me he is "breaking up" with his family. They have been just awful to him. Our daughter is the only grandchild, and it is her first Christmas. They live 2 hours away. We set up for a huge family Christmas party and have a place in our home for them to stay. We have a really nice clean big house.

They refuse to come. They also said they will not send gifts. I'm talking about parents, 3 brothers, and 3 sisters. This is a big family.

The reason they gave: it is inconvenient to come.

This keeps happening. We invite them for all sorts of things and we pay, we cook, we host, everything. Most of the time they refuse. If they do come, they are mean and make fun of DH. So today he decided he is going to change his phone number because they only call when they want money.

DH has a broken heart. It is our daughter's first Christmas and it means a lot to him to have his family involved with her. How do I ease this? Can it be fixed?

Answer Question
 
ecodani

Asked by ecodani at 3:47 PM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,526 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I say goodbye to them. They are the one's not putting an effort up. You cant fix something when the other people dont want anything to be "fixed"
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:48 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • That is a tough situation. It's easy to say keep trying they will come around but at the same time if they are hurting DH chances are they will hurt your LO to once she is old enough to notice. Stand beside his choice and and continue to remind him that he was a wonderful family of his own now and you are so happy to be a part of it.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:50 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • your better than that so is he plan plan and distract just like a relationship the best thing to do when the heart is broken is to keep busy and now with xmass get to it plan stocking stuffer s for the kids in your church or neighborhood if his mind is used for possitive things it will heal his poor little heart in a positive less depressive way go out movies dinners ext . its his parents but he wont have much time to sink in deeper hurt full emotions .
    hush84

    Answer by hush84 at 3:58 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Stand beside his choice and continue to remind him that he has a wonderful family of his own now and you are so happy to be a part of it.

    I agree. Enjoy your time together. Teach your child compassion and kindness. It is his family's loss.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:00 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Don't enable him. He has to heal on his own. Just replace them with people who DO care to be with you on the holidays. Don't invite them again. It would just give them more opportunities to hurt him again. I would not be lending people like that money. Tell him he's enabling them by not allowing them to earn money on their own. My x used to say "screw me once then shame on you. Screw me twice then shame on me" .
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:19 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • My husbands family is the same way, He quits talking to them for several months and then will talk to them again, Although they do live in the same city. I just support him in his decision and leave it his choice.
    TiffanyPlew

    Answer by TiffanyPlew at 7:32 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Enjoy your time together, especially with it being your first Christmas as a family of three. Forget about them..they don't deserve the time of day.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 1:30 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Do something special for the three of you. First Christmas, you are his family. It is a big deal being HER first Christmas. Merry Christmas and don't look back, just support his decision. I'd suggest to buy special ornament that has the meaning of his family or her first Christmas. It is awesome when the years past and you look back and see the ornaments that means something special like her first Christmas. I got them for my children as a present and I love them!!!Best Wishes.
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 8:48 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

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