Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i have a 3year old and i dont know what to do. she talks back. i do every thing and nothing helps

Answer Question
 
tae9591

Asked by tae9591 at 7:49 PM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • There is a book by Kevin Lehman (SP?) called "Have a new kid by Friday". While I would never want another kid besides my own, and find the title somewhat offensive, the book itself is very insightful. It has lots of good ideas on how to change a childs behavior in a few (rough as those few may be) days
    Cari14

    Answer by Cari14 at 7:55 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Keep a straight face and a calm voice. Tell her to go into her room and sit on her bed until she can come and talk nicely. That's what is working these days with my son. The catch is, to be consistent. If she refuses to go, then take her by the arm and put her in there. (Just like the time-out idea). Every time she talks back, she goes back in there. But it has to be done EVERY TIME. At the beginning it's going to be very frustrating. But keep your cool and be consistent, and she will finally realize that back talk will not be tolerated. When she does come out. She needs to apologize and you should sit with her and let her know that it hurts mommy when she talks back. This also works for tantrums. I tell my son to go in his room and not come out til he can smile. It's fun! LOL! GL
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 7:56 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • My 3 yr old is sassy. I make her re-phrase some of what she says so it is not hurtful, but I encourage her to tell me how she feels. As long as she does not tell me to shut up, but to please be quiet, or not I hate you but I am not happy right now. It sounds odd, but I want to have a teenage daughter who will talk to me when she is upset and respond to me in less aggressive manner.
    vsrillo

    Answer by vsrillo at 3:51 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Turn you back and ignore her.If you begin to talk back with her, it gives her reason to talk back. Just say "end of conversation" and move on. Don't fuel the fire
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • my girl does this as she is 4,i learnt to ignore it and kept telling her that i dont listen to back chat and when she is ready to talk to me properly the i will be there for her to listen,its worked for me
    cruizymum

    Answer by cruizymum at 4:40 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE IS TO TRY TO LOOK AT YOUR PARENTING AND SEE WHAT NEEDS TO BE ADJUSTED, IF YOU'VE TRIED EVERYTHING CHANCES ARE YOUR NOT BEING CONSISTANT. THE ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED AS BEING A MOTHER IS MY DAUGHTERS BEHAVIOR IS USUALLY A REFLECTION OF ME. TRY TO FIND THE REASON THAT SHES DOING THIS. IS IT JUST FOR ATTENTION? IS THERE A NEW OBSTACLE IN HER LIFE SHES TRYING TO ADJUST TO? OR MAYBE IS SHE LEARNING IT FROM SOMEONE? TV? SIBLING? YOU? KEEP IN MIND HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR KIDS CAUSE THEY ARE LIKELY TO TALK TO YOU IN THE SAME MANNER BELIEVE ME I KNOW I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY. AND EVERYONE SAYS TO BE CONSISTANT CAUSE IT WORKS EVEN THOUGH ITS SOOOO HARD SOMETIMES, NO MATTER YOUR PARENTING STYLE EVERYONE NEEDS CONSISTANCY!
    incrediblee25

    Answer by incrediblee25 at 3:37 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I have been fighting the same battle with my daghter and there has been 2 post that i cant agree with enogh. they are so right. 1st look at where she could be getting this at. (in my case my DD is getting it from my 16 year old sister.) When we are around my sister and she starts back talking my mom I gentaly step in and tell her that she needs to stop and set a better exsample for my DD. Normaly my sister will cool down and be ok when she sees that my dd is watching her. so that has been the biggest helper of all. When she back talks i will stop her and make her resay it in a better way.
    pooh_williams

    Answer by pooh_williams at 5:07 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • such vsrillo has said that is so that she understands how to exspress her self with out the Fear of truble. when my DD decides that she is not having any of it that she is not going to mind no matter what steps then she will sit in the chair beside me and i will repate the right way to say it. normaly after me saying it a few times she will say it. It has worked for me. I also tell her that she needs to set a better exsample for her sister. I have even told her that she needs to set a better exsaple for the dog because no one else was around IT works to make them think some one is looking up to them.
    pooh_williams

    Answer by pooh_williams at 5:07 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I've been having the same problem with my 3yo son. I talked to my son's doctor about it and she gave me a book called 1-2-3 magic. Apparently it's supposed to give you a new, effective way to discipline your child without getting worked up. I read it in one day and although I only started a few days ago, already my son is responding to it and i'm fighting with him alot less. You can get the book at: http://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1226421322&sr=1-1
    Nikkiw1614

    Answer by Nikkiw1614 at 11:35 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN