OK, so this is my situation and I really need advise. Please do not respond get an attorney, I cannot afford one (as in I do not have the money, nor do I have anyone who I can borrow it from) My dd just turned 4 the other day. Her father (we have never been married) walked out on us when she was a newborn. He filed papers with the court to take me to mediation where we decided for him to have her every Thursday from 6 am till 2 pm (he always brought her home at 12) and every other sat from 6 am till 12 pm and the opposite sunday from 2 to 5 pm (he always brought her home by 4). He also was ordered to pay child support and he was ordered to pay $5000 back child support (at the rate of $20 per month until paid off). We did this from December of 08 until August of 09 when he went into the Army. Since then he has come back 2 times (once in December then again in Feb.) Both times we agreed on a visitation schedule that was MORE then our court order and both times he kept wanting to change it so that he could hang out with his friends, go out with girls and so on. I was as helpful as I could be with the visits, again he got WAY more then our court order and I switched with him when it he wanted as long as me and my dd didn't already have plans. Since he has come, he calls my dd once a month or so(when he calls, she has no idea who he is and has no interest in talking to him) and sent $100 for her birthday and Christmas and asked me to buy presents for her from him (which I have done) because 1.he is in South Korea and shipping presents would be crazy expensive and 2. he doesn't have a clue as to what she would want. Now he is comming back to the US and will be stationed in GA (we live in FL) so he won't be far. He can't take her to where he lives as he will live in the Army single housing (I think it is called barracks) but he will be having visits at his mom's house, who lives down the road from me. He said he wants to take me to court to get every other weekend. The problem is, my dd doesn't even remember him and has a hard time getting to sleep. She has to have the right stuffed animals, the right blankets and she has to have my cat (real cat, not a stuffed animal) with her to sleep. I have asked him if he could have her every other Sat instead as, being in the military, he won't make half the visits anyway due to duties he will have (he has told me this much). He said no that he would have her the entire weekend, even though his mom would be the one with her at night as he will be going out. I was under the impression that if the child isn't with the parent who has visitation, they are supposed to come home, so he shouldn't be able to do that. My question is if we go to court (he may not even take me) is a judge likely to order every other sat instead of every other weekend because it is in the best interest of the child to be able to sleep at home? Also my ex has been making almost 2 times the amount as he was when our court order for child support was put in, can I get the difference between what he has been paying and what he should have been ordered to pay since he has been in the Army ( I only didn't file for a child support modification earlier because he told me he wasn't making any more money then before) Lastly, was he supposed to file something with the court saying that he was going into the military? Or at least let me know (I didn't know until 2 days before he left and I only found out because a friend told me he was having a going away party, he wasnt' going to tell me because he knew that I went to class on thursdays during his visits and he wanted to leave me hanging). I would love any advise anyone can give.
Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:51 PM on Dec. 18, 2010
Answer by MrsMWF at 9:31 PM on Dec. 18, 2010
Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:49 PM on Dec. 23, 2010