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I want to adopt this little boy i fell in love with him but im scared?

I'm scared at the fact that i want to adopt this 2 year old boy and i don't want to mess up in the long run.I don't want to not love him as much as i'm going to love my own kids when i have them.I'm not a mom yet but i don't want feelings to change for this boy when i have my own.Any advice girls?

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sharon17

Asked by sharon17 at 9:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2010 in Adoption

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • I doubt your feelings will change when you have your own kids. You cant just change your love for a child just because you add more to the family.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:24 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • I don't think your feelings for him will change after you have bio kids. When you adopt a child the child is yours. You will not even think of him as adopted. You will love him unconditionally.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 9:25 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • For the most part I agree with the 2 PP, but I think there is a slight disadvantage since he is already 2 and you will bond with your own biological babies as newborns. As long as you form a tight bond with him now, however, I don't think it would be a problem.
    kathy5980

    Answer by kathy5980 at 9:28 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • my dd isnt my husbands bio child but he loves her just the same as his 2 bio children..love isnt somthing that can go away or diminish just b/c of blood it only grows
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 9:29 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • hi..there is nothing to be afraid of just as long as your have love in your heart...i will pray for you so that GOD will help you to decide...
    neng999

    Answer by neng999 at 9:35 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • your heart is already telling you to open your life to him. when you love adopt a child, you will love him as if you did give birth to him and when you have your own children you will love him just as much--good luck, and hope all goes well!
    dez1379

    Answer by dez1379 at 9:41 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Well, I wouldn't discount the OP's concerns so quickly. I have a close friend and also a family member who were adopted and were treated differently by their parents after the other kids came into the picture. And when the bio kids fought with them growing up the first shot was"you were adopted, because your mom didn't want you"' So this does happen. Will it happen to you? I'm not saying yes or no here. Yes, you could just be nervous. But I'm wondering why you would worry about such a thing as your love changing for a child? Best wishes.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:08 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • PP, I think she is worried because she wants to do a good job, and to do the right thing for this child.

    OP, I don't think that will happen. When you adopt this child and bond with him, he will become your "own" just as much as if you'd given birth to him. Chances are slim that I will ever have a bio child, but I love my two kids (adopted) so much that I know I couldn't love a bio child more than them. My big fear is that they would think I did, if that makes sense.

    Keep praying about it and make sure you are certain about what you want to do.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • lamgr8teful, I'm not an idiot. I'm sure she does want the right thing for the child so it IS a good thing to consider. And just because you bonded(and I'm so glad you did)with your adoptive children, not all cases are so. I was simply saying it's not a bad thing to consider because of what I have experienced in my own life. Nothing more.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • Thanks for the advice gurlies i appreciate every answer from each one of you.
    sharon17

    Comment by sharon17 (original poster) at 10:40 PM on Dec. 18, 2010

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