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3 Bumps

Taking a ex husband back....can it work?

We divorced 6 years ago. We have two great kids. He sees them often.

He never left the nest...Was attached at the hip to his mom. I always came in second. It was horrible. We we got marriage it was the first time he had lived apart from his parents.

We we divorced he moved right back in with his parents. He later had a huge fight with her. He moved out. He has lived on his own now for three years. He stops by more often and we find ourselves chatting more.

He told me tonight he never stopped loving me...he just had not grown up yet. Do I take him back? I love him also but am scared of the past. We have always remained friends through the divorce. Everyone says he is different now.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I'd date him and maybe let him move in then decide
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:50 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I would go for it. It worked well for my Aunt they separated he was with another woman and realized how he had messed up and they have been back together now for about 10 years at least. It sounds like he cares and sometimes you have to take risks and hope that they pay off. Good luck.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 12:51 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Depends.

    Are you willing to look at him as he truly is: a whole, flawed, complex human being with opinions and thoughts that do not (and cannot) match your own?

    Or are you hoping he's turned into the magical, non-existent Perfect Partner who is everything and everyone you need, just for you?

    In order to have an adult relationship, you have to be an adult --tolerant, willing to stand by your word, willing to forgive and forget, willing to allow space for other interests, different priorities, other people and other ideas, willing to stand by and wait while someone grows through something difficult...

    The fact that he was nailed to his mother is... interesting. But nothing whatsoever to do with you, or your marriage. If you can discover how that fact is true, you have a great chance at making it together for decades. If you can't... well... good luck with that.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:52 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • People do change as they grow. But also determine if this was the only or main problem that caused the divorce in the first place. it could def work though!
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 12:54 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • dont over think it right now, just take it slow and see where it goes. I myself wouldnt go back to my ex if he was the last man on the planet,,,,but we had a bad divorce,,lol good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I bump all ladies up........
    3 years on his own? Are you sure ?

    Are you and the kids more important now ?

    I would...date, and see first .....
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:09 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I can only tell you from my experience. We separated for two years, had a small child. We got back together and were together for 5 or so years and finally divorced. We should have never got back together. We broke up for a reason and should have stayed broken up. Good Luck it did not work for me.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 1:27 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • You should watch "It's complicated". Very funny. I would wait and just take it easy, try to remember why he is your ex and try to work those problems first. I wish you the best.
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 1:27 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • My ex and I divorced almost 5 yrs ago. We got back together a year and a half ago. It's 99.9% better than it was before we divorced. Bottom line: we both still love each other and want to make it work. We are different people now than we were back then. I had moved on with a new relationship shortly after our divorce. I found myself wishing I was with him not the guy I was with. I am the one that initiated our separation. I didn't know what a good thing I had when I had it - I got lucky and got a 2nd chance. He says the same thing about me. We appreciate each other now - whereas before we took each other for granted. Hope your situation works out for you! GL
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 2:08 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Been here done this.
    Ive married my husband twice. We got married young and his mom died right after we started dating and he didnt know how to greive so he drank instead. It got to be too much and we got divorced. We were divorced for 5 years and have been back together for 6 years now and everything is better than i could have ever imagined.

    Spend some time together and actually talk about what caused the first divorce. See for yourself if he has changed.
    Make sure u work out ANYTHING in the relationship that caused hard feelings so u dont bring it back in.
    You will need to be careful depending on how old the kids are because you dont want them getting their hopes up and then it not working. So take it slow.

    Me and DH talked for a month but our love was still so very strong that we jumped back in both feet and I dont think i could breathe without him now. When they are your soul mate u just seem to know.

    Good Luck.
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 10:29 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

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