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4 Bumps

how would you have handled this?

Went to pick up my kids cause they where invited to a bday party. I know this mother, I work with this mother on a booster program. I honestly am starting to dislike her more and more with every single second I have to be with her. Tonight she made a comment to my dd, in front of me. My dd and her dd are 18 yrs old and seniors in high school. They get into debates now over stuff. Her dd will go off crying and get frustrated if my dd will not see it her way. I get that, but this mom looked at my dd tonight and dressed her down for it. . I could see the hurt look on my kids face tonight and I wanted to slap the mother so bad. I never wanted to walk in that house tonight,,,I made excuses, my shoes where muddy. Their dd is going to a University next year,,,shall we talk about debates in college? I ended up saying something to that effect, that our kids are growing up now,,and then left. Would you have handled it differently? For cripes sakes the girls are 18!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • in this case i think it was more important to show tact and class for your daughters sake and say nothing. your daughter is an adult and will have to learn with difficult people all her life. i would have given my daughter a hug afterward and laughed about the "crazy lady".
    lillie70

    Answer by lillie70 at 3:20 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I would have verbally supported my child in front of the mother along the line of "it's a shame people don't know how to handle opposing opinions at your age, I'm glad you acted in a mature manner" then smiled and walked out the door.
    Waxing_Lyrical

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 7:39 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I don't stand by and listen to superior-minded people attacking my children.

    I would have dismissed her immature demands that everyone agree with her daughter with some kind of swift, brief reply about not being Paris Hilton and not being able to afford to buy only friends who agree with everything they think...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:45 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I would have ignored it. At 18 my children were more than capable of dealing with situations like that on their own, they didn't need me to jump in and say anything. If an adult had jumped on them about something my sons would have, at 18, treated the mother like an equal (because they were legally adults at 18) and would have put her in their place on their own. Her daughter will learn that not everyone will always agree with her and your daughter needs to learn how to handle her own situations since she will be away from home soon enough herself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I would have told her what I thought of her behavior and then walked out.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:40 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • You showed yourself the adult by staying out of it.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:51 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Don't get involved in disputes with other moms and children. Sometimes you can mean well, stand up for your daughter and then get attacked by both of them. Or, they can make up and you look like the bad guy. Allow your daughter to fight her own battles. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 5:20 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • sounds like her daughter is a stuck up and jealous of your daughter. i would have quietly ask to speak to her then i would hve let the mom have it by telling her and her daughter needs to grow up.
    stressedoutgran

    Answer by stressedoutgran at 3:23 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • You handled it well
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:19 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • thanks ladies, i know there will be more of these before the end of the school year. In getting your responses Im learning how to handle these things in a logical way and not an emotional way. I sure didnt want to create a scene at the door. I talked to dd when we got home and I told her I love and support her and I think she is an amazing young women. She knows Im always in her court no matter what.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:26 AM on Dec. 19, 2010