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My 16 year old son is downloading explicit pictures of women on my computer. What to do?

I got on my computer to do some homework, and there it was. I was blown away by it. This is what I'm going to do about it, and ladies let me know if you agree. I'm going to upload the pics, call him into the room, and have him explain to me why he's downloading this pics on "MY" computer. I'm really, really mad as heck right now, but moms, is this normal for his age?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Dec. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Normal, probably. Acceptable, no. Explain? I doubt he'll be able to "explain". What to do? Restrict access to the computer, limited to homework only and only under the direct supervision of an adult.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 8:36 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I do not have sons, so you can take my advice for what it's worth, but... I would have to say that it is very normal for a 16 yr old boy to be looking at that kind of stuff.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:36 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I guess I didn't have any actual "advice", lol, but you get what I mean.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:37 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • yes, thanks guys. I know he's 16, and while this may be normal, I'm still bothered by it. Supervising him and restricting his time online is a great idea. We were going to buy him a laptop for Christmas, but not a good idea.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:39 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • It is normal but not healthy for a 16 yo to be looking at porn.

    When my aunt had this issue w/ her son, she & his dad sat down and talked to him about how confusing these pix can be and explained they'd be blocking sites from now on.

    But don't be too mad at him. I don't know many 16 year old boys who could resist. Remember he's a kid, but one w/ hormones raging!
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 8:40 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Normal, yes. Healthy, no. Appropriate, no. Acceptable, no.

    OP, I think you're exactly right - it would be a BAD idea to get him a laptop when he's demonstrating these kind of choices.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:45 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I would say normal- however you can explain to him that it bothers you because... whateve you want to say.... Tell him that while it is may be a normal thing for his age it doesn't make it acceptable in your house on your computer.... and limit time on the computer for a while, but don't humiliate him about it if you can, if he gets embarassed (i mean extremely embarrased) he may just shut you out of what's going on with him in th future...
    lovemylilman06

    Answer by lovemylilman06 at 8:49 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Set an account up for him with parent's administrator profile (which means you can control what pages can be seen on the other profiles). There is children protection programme on every computer with password to open the 'risky' webpages containing adult contents. It is perfectly normal to be interested in naked women pictures from the age of 14. It is just the way it is. But let your children to go to the internet without children protection is a big mistake that parents can make who have no idea about computer s and internet. There are many different kind of good ones. If you have someone who knows the computer and have IT skills you can ask them to put this children protection on.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 8:51 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • its normal at his age, but sit him down and explain why you dont wan thim doing it:

    - its not his computer to download things to without your concent
    - its a virus risk
    - you personally don't appreciate his "tastes"
    - also it could get you all in a lot of trouble if CPS or a teacher or someone saw those pics on your home computer in plain site like that.
    - Use PArental Controls to block things
    - go delete them no, he'll notice they aren't there and realize you saw them.

    the only other thing I can think of is to work with him by getting him his own netbook ($300) and let him download stuff to that and his his own personal thing. You can still set it up with PArental Controls and Anti-Virus software before you starts using it.
    Mandz1

    Answer by Mandz1 at 8:55 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I just got a great free parental control from onlinefamily.norton.com. My son is 9 and was already um..being curious lol. This has parental controls that you can adjust for any age. For my son it blocks all sexual content. Even if you google "sex" or "boobs" lol the results are filtered and even the photo results. That works on any search engine. He also liked to try to look at things on youtube. So it also filters youtube results for him. He was searching you tube for things like girls making out. Now no results show up at all. I love it and its totally free. It is sooo much better than the parental controls we were using that came on Windows.
    Astraea_79

    Answer by Astraea_79 at 9:26 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

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