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Do you think that if I go out to the mall, it is disrespectful to my dad who is really sick?

He is getting worse and worse with his dementia. I live 2 and half hours away.I saw him last week.My husband and child are going out on their own so I do not want to be alone.Am I being selfish?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Yes, if all you do is go to the mall when your father is suffering, you are disrespectful. But this? This isn't disrespectful. It's about finding balance. You need to devote time to your dad, like you did when you saw him last week. Devote time to your family like I'm sure you do every day. And devote time to yourself - and if you want to go to the mall today, go ahead. It's ok.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 8:42 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Instead of going to see him? No, I don't think you're being disrespectful. I'm sure you'll be seeing him for the holidays right?

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 8:42 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I don't really understand what is your question. Can you write some more about the problem?

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 8:42 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • it depends is some else staying with him that needs a break? if so then yes you are......but if its you that needs the break from taking care of him then no.......

    Answer by cara124 at 8:43 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I can see where u see that, but he isn't the same man you remember. My grandfather is there now and he never remembers me and repeats constantly. Its very unpleasant a visit. He forgets I was even there, so in this case I don't think he'd notice.

    IF he DID notice and truly remembered and missed your presence and you choce to blow him off for hte mall I'd say YES, but in this case, he won't do any of that, so no. In my grampa's case it already feels like the man he was already dies and this physical being he is is just some host waiting to follow. I don't know his anymore and he doesn't even remember me.

    Answer by Mandz1 at 8:47 AM on Dec. 19, 2010