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Was it rude or just not having a good day? My husband is very passive agressive with me. The whole day he was yelling and complaining about how the closets and drawers were messy.

He was a former metrosexual in his bachelor days. I thought all was well after we went out and got home late, but he as usual will use a passive agressive move to ask me to call his sister. He will never do it. I do not get along and am not in the mood for her whiny , high maintenance ways of not helooing out and just acting so uppity. I did not answer my husband and just went up to take a shower. He did not say anything to me since I have so much going on with my dad who is very ill. During the holidays it is the worst feeling. So sorry if I do not want Miss Diva around. I had to pass. Why do you think he did this so late at night? He never does that....


Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • tell him he can clean them if he's that bothered, you're not his PA or a maid.

    Answer by Mandz1 at 8:48 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • If he's yelling and complaining, he's not being passive aggressive.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 8:52 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Tell him 2 get off of his lazy bum & clean the drawers & closets his own self! Ur not a robot but a human being that has feelings & he should respect that!devil


    Answer by NubianQueen78 at 9:08 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • That is the agressive, then he will ask me to call or communicate for him that is the passive. He will rant about messy clothing and then take me out without saying a word passive.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:54 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Well, since he has experience getting the closets and drawers a certain way, I would ask for his help in organizing them the way he likes. I imagine clothes and appearances are pretty important to him from what you said and the closet/drawer thing might be a big deal to him. I can understand being upset that he was yelling, I'm just suggesting a compromise. As for calling his sister, I also understand that you don't want to talk with her, but no answering him at all really is not the way to do things. I would explain to him that you really are not up to talking with her now and he could do it then or you would call her later. It sounds like he is trying to pick his battles with you, but you both need to sit down and communicate about what you need right now. Good luck.


    Answer by scout_mom at 9:12 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • He is trying to pick battles , can you be more specific?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:14 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Here's the deal.... He is probably stressed out about something. I would sit down and talk with him and try to get him to open up about what is really bothering him. That is what I do with my DH. Once my Hubby has opened up and told me what is truly bothering him, I am then able to explain to him why I have noticed things and how they are effecting me. I found out that the underlying issue with him is that he is stressed out because we know this is his Grandmothers last Christmas. This is the only Grandparent he has left so it is affecting him very strongly. Specifically, try to be there for him and help him see that you care BEFORE you mention the things he's doing that bother you. Men don't know how to connect with their feelings, you have to bring it out of them. Good LUCK! :D

    Answer by FirstTimeMom224 at 10:57 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • If he can do passive aggressive, I can do learned helplessness and tell "daddy" to show me how he wants it done so I'll be a good girl next time and do it. That p/a stuff just gets my goat sometimes. They think we're so dumb we don't know what they are doing. As for the sister, I'd tell him his fingers aren't broken and to call her himself.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:04 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • He has two hands tell him to do it

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • sound like he really dont have nothing much to say to u...but to fuss

    Answer by FayMeek at 12:48 PM on Dec. 19, 2010