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7 Bumps

I need support!!!

I need support, please. I was overdosed 2 years ago by hospital on a simple day surgery. Our son was 14 at the time. I have brain anoxia and Lost my short term memory. I spent 9 days in ICU and when I came home, I lost my career, my host home clients and our son. He crashed and got into trouble. In a 3 month time he drank, smoked pot, got into a fight, stole our car and was suspended from school. After these events he was placed in a detention facility. I feel ripped open. I am a great mom! I was his team manager for football, knew all his teachers and we were close. He has been home since August after 15 months. He is 17 now and I cannot connect the dots. In my mind he was just 14. This cannot be real. He is different since he came home. He lies, cheats, will not attend school, stays out all night, and I am sure he is using alcohol and drugs. I am sitting here at my computer crying and sobbing. I have not seen him since yesterday morning. I want our son back!!! I want my life back! I want my son. I feel like I may die. I truly have never felt so helpless. We have our 10 day jury trial starting in March 2011. It has a long road. The neurologists say I will not get better than I am today. I do not want to hear that. I want my life back the way it used to be. I miss my baby!!!!!!!!!!!! I just need to get through today. Please moms think of my family. I need to know our boy is safe today. I do not even have a stick to fight this anymore. Please do not tell me how wonderful your teens are, please. I posted only one time and it was not a positive experience. I just could use some support. I do not know what to do and I need to feel better. Cafe moms means so much to me. I have lost my life as I knew it. Cafe moms is my safe place. I can read questions and offer support. I feel like I have friends. I know that sounds silly.

 
rosetoes

Asked by rosetoes at 10:49 AM on Dec. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • IT doesn't sound silly. Hugs for you. It is so bad what happened to you. I hope you will feel better and you can kick the hospital ass!!! Sit down and talk to your son that you love him and you need his support. The teenager years are awkward without any major trauma. And your family had a big one. Try to take him to counselling. He had so bad experience in this life. Probably he feels he doesn't have any control if something bad happens. I am not surprised he uses alcohol and drugs plus he is lying. OMG!!! How much trauma could it be for him what had happened with you!!! Definitely counselling. You can't get him back by yourself. And you need counselling as well. You should make yourself strong and ready for the fight in front of you... You have all of my support. And I send some virtual hugs on CM:)

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 11:00 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I have younger kids so can not relate or even give real advice. Sounds like you guys have all been through alot which may have made your son act out. Has he went to counseling to work on his issues...do you think he would go? I am sorry you lost so much that has to be hard and a struggle everyday.....
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 10:53 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • group hugIt's not silly. I am here if you need me. I may not know the right things to say but I can listen really well. I know how hard this must be on you expecially at this time of the year. My little brother got into some bad trouble when he was a teenager and he got sent of for a year. I remember how hard it was on my mother and all I could do was listen to her and just doing that seemed to help. So just know if anything there are people here who will listen and offer you great big hugs.

    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 10:55 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Okay momma I have a child who went down this road and it was a long road our son is twenty and is just now getting out from under seven years of trouble. He was locked up for two years and in court every day for a month. Now you have to sit down and get a third party to talk to both of you and figure out how you can even come back together as a family my son figured he was as far down as he could go and it could get no worse. I am sorry about everything else you have lost as well I think your son is safe but being difficult today. ((((HUGS))))
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:00 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Oh sweetie if I could make it better for u I certainly would. My heart goes to you but unfortunately the clock cant be turned back, I wish it would. All I can offer u is my big shoulder to cry on and a hug anytime u need it. I no u dont want to hear this especially the way ur feeling now but God loves u and He only dishes out what u can handle. As much as u dont believe it right now, He really does love u and He really is there for u. Like I said , right now u dont feel it, believe me Ive been thro it where I lost my son permanantly, but God is there for ya....He really is. Again anytime u need a shoulder to cry on or some venting to let out, just holler I will be there for u.
    bnnsweet

    Answer by bnnsweet at 11:06 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • hugsNot silly. I have a grandson like that and I miss the old him. There are times I want to turn back time and redo things just to get the nice guy back again. Here's a hug.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:57 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Have you thought of pursing a medical malpractice case? I also am sorry to say this to you because you have truly had bad experiences; you need to tough love your son; Simply put: you cannot love him to death. Think about it and really try to understand what I am saying. You cannot allow what he is doing simply because he has had a bad time. I have had a bad time a very bad time. I also am most likely lucky to be alive ( if you want to know about it write me) but I have not broken laws done drugs or other things come on thats NO EXCUSE and you need to try and right the wrongs that have been done to you on a legal level if you can. Just remember your son doing those things and what happened to you are TWO different things but on another note I know that it feels like the world is crushing down on you and it is and for that I am truly sorry
    NE1outthere

    Answer by NE1outthere at 1:26 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I wish you all the luck!
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 1:03 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • when your son comes home you can tell him what you have told us ,he doesn't understand what happen to you and yes he is affraid that you won't be there for him,what you need to do is start fresh a new begin .i know you want the past to come back your old live but you know that won't happen you have to move on,but when you the help of your son you both can move on as one
    and good luck
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 2:42 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

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