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High maintenene to frumpy?!

I was to be so high maintenence that friends called me spoiled and people automatically thought I was bougy. I use to dress very nicely, nice jewelry my hair was always nice, my face and makeup was alway perfect, my poise use to be good. After having my daughter everything changed. I feel like I look poor most of the time. My hair is always horrible. I have absoletely nothing to wear. MY posture is awful. I feel like I let myself down! and cant do what I use to to keep up with my appearence. I hate looking in the mirror. I have no money at all to take care of myself, but then I see people with less money then me look great. I dont know what to do and what changed. It is so sad sometimes that look so horrible!. If you knew me in high school/college and saw me now (which is about 5-7yrs ago) I look completely different with how I carry myself and it is embarrasing sometimes. People at work dress nice and lovely and I cant and wear the same things all the time. Its do fustrating!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Beauty & Style

Answers (10)
  • I think you have depression but bad dressing. Try to go to a counsellor and talk to him or her about your feelings. I am sure there is more behind this question than a bad hair day or what to wear. How old is your daughter? IF you are just after pregnancy it can be post-natal depression and it needs to be treated. If you are only upset, a counsellor still can make a big difference. Call up your insurance company and ask them what kind of counselling are you able to ask for. There are free counselling sessions in every country.


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 1:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • She is 3. I definitely know I am depressed most of the time. But I have been like this since she was born. I cant get myself together no matter what!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:21 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I am sure you are being hard on yourself. I feel the same way at times. I found on the days I do my hair and make up it really makes me feel better about myself. As for the no clothes thing, I am right there with you. However, I try to look at clearance and sales items and pick up things here and there when I see them dirt cheap. You have to take care of yourself too:) A few months ago I had no bras besides nursing ones. I started hitting up clearance now I have 5 new ones and each one was under 5 bucks!!! Have you tried second hand stores> You can find some good deals there as well. Most stores only take clothes that are in good condition. Give yourself a break and do something that makes you feel good, even if it's just taking a long bath and putting on some nice lotion :)

    Answer by Luvmybooskies at 1:21 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Find a balance, go through your closet and identify 3 "go to" outfits that are easy, fast, and a step above frumpy. Experiment a little with finding a good no-fuss hairstyle that is neat, clean, and attractive. A touch of lipstick or gloss can go a long way toward helping a person feel better and only takes a moment. And smile - a smile makes a person feel better and look much better too! You said you used to carry yourself differently, put some effort into being aware of how you're carrying yourself and making improvement. High-maintenance is low priority, but you can feel better! Good luck!

    Answer by Gaccck at 1:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Honey, if you are STILL depressed 3 years after your daughter was born, you need to talk to your doctor. You may need something to help snap you out of it.

    But one thing to do is to treat everyday as if you are going to be seeing someone.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:39 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Okay honey...take a breath...your tearing yourself down and that's where you need to start in order to get you back. I'm the same way...I will proudly admit that I am very, very vain and back in the day, I would only wear and buy the nicest designer stuff but in this economy, I suffer from CAS (can't afford shit) so guess what, I shop at the Goodwill and Salvation Army. I can't tell you how many designer items, some with tags still one, I've found there. I even got a coach purse for $20. I don't buy shoes there but there are tons of these $5.99 shoe places around that although the shoes are of the highest quality, they have some really good designs. Get a always makes me feel better. I got one on Friday at Hair Cuttery only $15 and it looks great and everyone has a girlfriend that knows how to dye hair. Start with this and see how you feel.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Only you can make this change and it has nothing to do about money whatsoever.

    Answer by gambilldl at 10:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • It sounds like you have a case of depression. t i think your problem is simple and with a little TLC you can feel much better. Im no Dr but what you are experiencing is not very different from alot of other women. All you need to do is pay a visit to a hairsalon doesnt have to be an expensive one walmarts usually have a salon in there and theyre cheap , get urself a new hairstyle maybe experiment with color or highlights. While ur at it buy yourself some new makeup try new products and colors, and try new looks you can find deals on makeup for very cheap at drug stores and ur convenient walmart and kmart. As far as ur clothes go thru a magazine and pick out looks you like, take those looks with you to any bargain store or hit up clearance racks and recreate those looks , be creative its fun and you will be amazed at what you come up with. Looking good doesnt have to be expensive!!! Try it out :)

    Answer by MsBrazil86 at 7:09 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • The goodwill is a pretty good place to start. Anything and everything just about. I use to spend hours going through the whole store. LOL

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 11:54 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Sometimes it takes time after you have kids to get back to the way you used to look and if you DON'T get back to the way you used to look, try to find the good in the way that you look now. There's always ways to make yourself look and feel beautiful. You could just change you hairstyle, give yourself a manicure or facial, someone posted that Walmart has a salon that is inexpensive. I know the ones where I live have a hair cut place, and a nail place inside. And I know both are pretty cheap. And I'm sure you could google all kinds of home remedies to make you feel relaxed and beautiful! Beauty is on the inside too so when you feel good inside, you want to look good outside :) Good luck lady!

    Answer by Platinum_Mommy at 3:08 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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