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If you believe what you believe because you feel it is the right way...

how can it not bother you if your children don't choose to believe the same thing? How can you not fear for their spiritual well being? I am accepting of peoples choices and I would never 'shove' my faith into my children but I would be hurt and afraid for them if they chose something different. I would love them and support them but I would inwardly be afraid and sad.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Religious Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (39)
  • One of my sons is an atheist. Another is Methodist. The oldest is Catholic and my only daughter is New Age yogini. Meaning she lives by the yoga sutras. I have no problem with it at all. As long as they are living their lives in a kind and ethical manner and are good to other living beings, what book they follow or what church they attend is none of my business.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 3:09 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • For myself this is a very easy question to answer.

    I was raised Hindu ( married into Sikh household and my adult son is a Sikh as well). My beliefs are this:

    There is no right or wrong path to God. There is no sole, single one and only true path to God. There is only the right path for each and every individual (for some that is even the path of non belief) Each and every person who believes (no matter what that path is and what they believe) has that belief, follows that path for their own reasons. We all (each and everyone of us) develop our beliefs based on: how we think, how we feel, what we've experienced in this life.etc.

    Therefore it would be impossible for me to expect my son to have the exact same beliefs that I have. He is his own person, has his own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. His beliefs are based on those things, just as mine are. He is he. I am me. 2 different people. 2 different paths.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:03 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I just got off the phone with my son. I asked his opinion on this question.. He said this to me " If you believed your way was the only way. And I believed differently. That would be on you not me. You would be the one discounting my beliefs, not me yours.. That would be the mother not accepting the son for who and what he is, not the mother fearing for her son's well being".

    Just thought I'd share my son's take on this... :-)

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:05 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I believe we all have to find our own paths/ways of understanding. What works for me may no work for my son. I care more that he is a respectful, compassionate human being who understands whatever it is he accepts (as well as what he rejects) than I do about what he believes or even IF he believes.

    I, too, believe that all paths lead to the same End, so there will be no worries from me about my son's spiritual well-being. If someone else has a problem with that, that's their problem, not mine. ;)

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I wanted to add this.

    If my path stated that it was the one and only path, and that my child would suffer damnation for not believing as I do. I not only as a mother but as a human being, would have to seriously re-assess my path of choice. I could not be a devout (with 100% of my being) follower/believer in a path that would damn my child for being who/what he is and for following/believing in the path that is right for him.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 8:04 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I am not at all afraid. What do children know of faith? Faith is something that grows with time and they will find their way.

    Answer by JuJubean1979 at 1:24 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I guess for me I would be ok as long as they believe in God in general, if they decide to be something else all together I think it would make me a little sad, but I would try to accept them as the individulas they are and have faith that one day God will bring them back. But we have a long way before we get to that point since mine are so little still.

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 1:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Because it is the right way for ME. Why on earth would you force your child to do something that doesn't feel right to them just to make YOU feel better?

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:04 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • My job as a mother is to see my children safely into adulthood with an education and the necessary skills to make it on their own.  I have no right to live their lives for them.  They choose their careers, their partners and their religion.


    Answer by beeky at 5:16 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • My children have to learn to listen to their own hearts. They have to listen to what their spiritual path is. I can only share with them my own experiences and the ideas behind other religious beliefs. what speaks to them, I have no control it should be. I will be happy with whatever path their heart leads them down. Because then I know they are listening to their inner voice, their inner heart...that is the most important thing.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 5:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2010