Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Needs advice on my situation..HELP!?!?

I am a mother of a 1 year old but the man I am in a relationship with (also my childs father) has another child who is almost 3. She is mean to her younger sister, which is my daughter. She pushs her, hits her, yells at her.its not just once in a while like expected from a toddler, its constantly. Her mother is always sending her to us sick and with have taken her to the doctor. A few weeks ago, it was double pink eye. The next week it was a cold. This week its a fever and throwing up. She doesnt listen, Im not sure how her life is with her mother. My heart goes out to this child, but I do not know what or how to help her. Were having to constantly spank her or put her in time out. She refuses to listen. She will tell you no and if you try and make her do what you are asking she'll start screaming and kicking and hitting. This happens every where not just at home. I dont know what to do any advice would be appreciated!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • I'd recommend filing for full custody of this child and getting her straight before it's too late. Obviously her mother isn't doing a good job, and you can actually use that in court.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 2:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I agree with AtHomeMommy-3 it sounds to me like she's not being responsible and even getting her child medical treatment when it is needed. I would take her to court and try to get full custody.

    Answer by badgirl44654 at 2:33 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • First of all...not to judge i promise but maybe she is a little young to spank. If yall consistently show her discipline in a positive way....maybe a sticker chart~ when she does something good she gets a sticker and when she gets so many she gets a prize....snack cake ...candy....etc. Consistency is so hard i know but stick with it and you will see a positive change. I am concerned of this child is always so sick. I am sure this makes it so hard on you having a 1 yr old. Hmmm Maybe you could also try and spend special time with this child ~one on one special time ...trip 4 a book...but no 1 yr old . have dad help with this. She is also probably trying to find her place in that household. This behavior is also just typical of this age in some children though.Try to involve her in a fun activity with the 1 yr old. Gluing pics or something. The more positive experiences they have together the better!

    Answer by harris4 at 2:33 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I know this is hard but like you said you don't even know what her home life is like. You may very well be the only positive loving mother in her life!

    Answer by harris4 at 2:35 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I totally agree with harris4. When you spank a child, you teach them that hitting is ok. There are some very good books about the traits of different ages - could be called getting to know your 3 year old or something like that. These books are at the library. What I loved about them was when things happened that were typical for my daughter, I didn't feel like she was trying to be bad but just that she was doing what kids her age do. Very helpful. My daughter was sick a lot when she first went to daycare and someone suggested giving her a lot of chewable vitamin C. It really helped and there's some very yummy ones out there. Maybe you could get some for use at the moms house and at yours. Love the sticker chart idea too. She's only 3 - I feel for all of you.

    Answer by newtocooking at 2:48 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I appreciate all of your responses. I'll definitely try a sticker chart and see how that works. I havent done one on one time yet, mostly because Im in school full time and working, the weekends are the only real time I have with my little girl. I'll certainly get some time in soon with the older sister, hopefully it'll make a difference.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Great advice from previous posters. Sometimes kids go for the negative attention when they don't get enough positive attention. I wish you all the best.

    Answer by elizabr at 4:31 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • file for full custody

    Answer by lilred07 at 12:52 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would file for custody if you could but positive reinforcement works but if not you keep doing what you think is best :)

    Answer by premiemom18 at 1:14 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • her mother may be going through exactly what you re with her. If my dd throws up i dnt take her to the dr right away either. Maybe this child is lashing out bc of unstability in her life of having two seperate families.thats major & shes at the age where shes really recognizing it. Have one on one time, do special things w/her when shes w/you guys, make it a great time always. I wouldnt file for custody.u said u dnt know how her mom is with her. She may be a good mom. And her child just has a cold or fever often. My dd just went through a phase for abt 3 months where she had a cough, then threw up & diarrhea she just got sick thats nomal

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:21 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.