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3 Bumps

If your husband...

Said he loves you but he isnt IN love with you.....What would you think/do. Even if he said that to him it means that he just doesnt feel giddy about it anymore. And thats all it means. To me...it means i love you like my mom or sister or something. Im still very much IN love with him. Ugh what do I do.......

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • That he loves you as a person more than just a sex partner. Its the time of comfort,not hormones. it can be a good thing.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:21 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • It sounds to me that he cares about you, and always will, but isn't in love with you intimately anymore..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 5:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • i would want to work harder at pouring on the charm and making all his dreams come true and making his life as easier and happy as possible., and that includes in the bedroom, but most importantly out. the more your hubby enjoys you and laughs and lives the more he will fall for you and be " in " love with you ............
    mistik75

    Answer by mistik75 at 5:25 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • i agree is MrsLeftlane ...
    mommy2be0611

    Answer by mommy2be0611 at 5:26 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • For me loving someone is deeper than just being "in love", that's like the courting part of the relationship. I would be happy that his love for me was deeper than just the initial infatuation.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 5:34 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I would do nothing but think he is human. We have been married for over 17 yrs we are not "in love" 24/7... it waxes and wanes... that is normal. And an adult knows this and works to get back to that 'cant wait to see them' stage.  It is rather childish to think that every single day of your life you and your husband are going to wake up in total bliss... that is only in fairtails.  I married a man not a boy... so I know that if he loves me he will work on what ever we need to work on.


    I think too many young adult today are just too lazy to take the time to choose a good man and then work on the realtionship. 
    They think that they need to be happy 24/7 and if they are not then they need to leave.  Hell with the kids or the idea of family they need to be happy when they want to be happy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • If he is not IN love with you, he is NOT Mr. Right for you, and somewhere out there Mr. Right is looking for YOU to appriciate you and give you the LOVE you deserve! I know thats the last thing you want to hear when you are IN love with someone, but it is true.. Unless maybe your dh is going through a mid-life crisis or something like that, then you need to try to work him through it.. check out marriagetoday.org it's awesome and helps alot.
    WhitneyMommyOf2

    Answer by WhitneyMommyOf2 at 5:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Maybe you need to talk to him. Ask him where he stands in the relationship. Ask him what he needs from you. You dont want to be in a relationship if both of you aren't in it. I had my fiance tell me that and it took me telling him I wasn't playing his game for him to figure out what he wanted.
    Krista0723

    Answer by Krista0723 at 5:51 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Ugh, I hear you. My husband hasn't said those words, but I feel like that's how he feels about me. To all the people who posted that's normal, i disagree. My husband LOVES his sisters, but I should hope there is something different about the way he loves me. I don't expect him to feel giddy, but I do want him to be ATTRACTED to me. And I DO think that's the way it should be, and I DO think a person has a certain amount of choice over that.

    Personally, I believe there is something wrong with my relationship, and I want to find answers. We are working in that direction, and I wouldn't give up if I were you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I agree. It means that he feels for me the same way he would a good friend, a sibling, or an aunt. Loving someone isn't romantic, being in love with someone is. You wouldn't, or I hope you wouldn't, be in love with a relative. However, you would certainly love them. I think that if he no longer feels that way about you then you pretty much should let him go. Sure, you could try counseling and other "Make your marriage work" techniques, but that's almost forcing him to have those feelings again. If he believes that there is room to work on it, then that's another story and you should test out that road. However, if he feels that he doesn't and will never be in love again then he needs to walk away. As do you. As much as it hurts, you're only hurting one another more by pretending that being together is a good idea.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

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