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2 Bumps

one of my twins....

is more affectionate than the other towards me, I know that they both love me, but one is always all over me (which the SO says that he's going to be a serial killer b/c he is so clingy(sp?) toward me) and the other doesnt care about snuggling or give hugs out of nowhere like his brother.... I feel like I am favoring one over the other by give the snuggly one the attention that he wants... I try to get the other one to come to me and snuggle but he would rather play or watch cartoons or whatever he is doing at the time. I try to make sure that everything is even between the two of them but I feel like Im doing something wrong for him not to want to be as affectionate as his brother... Help. what can I do?

Answer Question
 
AingealsBabies

Asked by AingealsBabies at 5:24 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 13 (1,104 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • They have different natures. It's to be expected. Just because they are twins doesn't mean they have the same personalities right? very affectionate or not is just another trait. :0) You are doing fine!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:26 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Actually I would say that the clinging is not fine, the other kiddo is. I am sure you are doing good as a mummy. Every child is different. And we have to love them differently. You know your children. Don't be nervous if you are doing well. A child always says to you if you are doing something wrong. So do not worry until they say something to you:) Twins doesn't mean copies:P

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 5:33 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I know that just because they are twins doesnt mean that they are copies of each other but I have an older son who is affectionate and was at this age as well... Im just wondering if Im doing something wrong....
    AingealsBabies

    Comment by AingealsBabies (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • wow...so your kid was labeled as a child that could possibly become serial killer? Anyways..I have twins, and I know first hand that they have different attitudes, different likes and dislikes, they are different in many ways. Twins arent supposed to be the same. I think that people just assume that. My daughters are both loving towards me, but that might be because they are girl...not sure. But all you can do is try and not favor one over the other regardless if one is showing you more attention. Your the adult, your the mom...just hug the other one more even when he doesnt want it. Tell him you love him all the time. At least when he gets older he wont say, you favored my brother over me.
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 5:38 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Why would anyone say a kid is going to be a serial killer because they're clingy?? That just boggles my mind. I hope he doesn't say that in front of your son!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:46 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I noticed that as well...is this the father to the boys? If not, I would have kicked his ass to the curb for that remark...maybe he is. wth?
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 5:49 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Let me fix that statement...father or not..he would have gotten a swift kick out the door. Thats not even normal to say that about a child.
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 5:50 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Each child is unique. Maybe your other child just shows affection in a different way.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 10:00 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • They obviosly just need different things. Ii have two kids one likes to cuddle the other not so much when he was the same age...............
    Chantalg12

    Answer by Chantalg12 at 11:58 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I think it is kind of nice that each of your two sons has his own unique personality and traits. And the fact that they are little boys they will change over time and maybe he'll be more outwardly affectionate as he gets older. But he may just be the shy one of the two for the time being.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 5:58 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

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