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3 Bumps

After forgiving your husband for cheating how is your marriage now?????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I can and only will speak for myself and my marriage.

    My marriage (16 years later) is an amazingly awesome marriage. It truly is. It took a few years to reconcile and rebuild our marriage after my husband had a one night stand all those years ago. However, it was worth it for us.

    Our marriage was shite when it happened. We had been at odds for a few years. We faught all the time. We couldn't stand to be in the same room together. We faught over anything and everything. I didn't respect him, he didn't respect me. I didn't appreciate him, he didn't appreciate me. Neither of us communicated worth a crap with the other. My husband's one night stand did not destroy our marriage.It was destroyed before that, the ONS was just our wake up call to how badly destroyed our marriage already was.

    That happened around year 9. We have now been married 25 years. We both learned a lot,changed alot, & grew a lot together since then.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I also wanted to add.

    Through the years that it took to rebuild and reconcile.. I became a better person and in turn a better wife. My husband became a better person and in turn a better husband.

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:42 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • It made our marriage stronger. I might get some down votes because many women on here is all about just leaving and not looking back. But if you both willing to work on it it can happen. No don't get me wrong I still think about it every now and then but you either go forward or stay in the past. That was the hardest for me because every time we got into an agrument I would always throw his infidelity in his face. I had to learn to make it work you have to put that behind and go forward and that is what I did. And I don't regret it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • My marriage is amazing!! Now mind you ,it has been 4 years, and DH has completly changed. After he cheated I was crushed. But I had faith that we could make it through. I was aware that it may not happen, but I was willing to fight. It was long, and hard, and painful, but we did it together. We are 100% stronger now than we were before.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 7:58 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • It's unfortunate that women don't understand that the only way the statement "it made my marriage stronger" is valid is because they decided to swallow their pride, dignity and self respect and in a sense, told these men that it was okay that they hurt, degraded and completely didn't show any love or care for them. If nothing else, how in the world can a women forget that he went out, had unprotected sex and literally, tried to kill you...that's insane. Also, there is absolutely NO WAY to forget what happened, therefore you cannot forgive so you can never really move on in the relationship with the man. I mean really, can you ever completely get out of your head him humping, grinding and grunting "i'm cumming" in or on another woman? Or better yet, how much did he love you when he lapped up the nasty cum dumpster cunt like a dog (something he may not even do to his own wife) and then came home and kissed said wife...gross!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • well, we've BOTH cheated and we're not legally married but have been living as a married couple for 3yrs (together for 4). it hard for both of us almost every day, but we're more madly in love than ever. its been worth all the work for us because we truly do love eachother. and i dont think ShouldHaveLeft's statement is accurate. i cheated myself and it was JUST sex. i always used a condom and never went out of my way to please the guy. i do a million more things sexually with my SO than i ever would with any other guy. i always showered and brushed my teeth (as well as use a condom) so no, i was NOT spereading nastiness.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 9:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Should have left

    WHY DO YOU NOT LEAVE HIM= YOU ARE ALWAYS SO EXTREME ON THIS ISSUE
    UNDERSTANDABLE< BUT LEAVE ALREADY-ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND YOU NEED SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Why do I need professional help? I make a very valid point and have a very realistic approach to the issue. And even if I do leave him, that will not change my opinion on the issue. These men didn't for one fucking second think of their wives before they went out and stuck their dick in some nasty whore and here we are always so concerned about forgiving them and making our marriages stronger because of it. I've even heard some ladies in here try to take responsibility for "their" part in their husbands cheating...now THEY need help because that's insane! I call it as I see it and the simple fact that we let them think that they are forgiven just opens the door for them to think we are doormats and it's okay to hurt us over and over and over again. NO THANK YOU!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:44 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Shouldhaveleft, sorry but your blanket statements are wrong. I did not "swallow my pride", and DH knows that what he did was wrong. I am sorry you seem so jaded when it comes to men, but many can and do change. Yes you can forgive, I have. I say it made my marriage stronger because it did. We were going downhill before it happened. Since then we both opened up. We learned how to communicate effectively. We learned the root of our problems and we fixed them. He did not have unprotected sex, maybe this is what happened to you, and I am very sorry. But not every situation is the same. Please don't make assumptions into why I stayed, or the type of person I am.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 7:16 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

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