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3 Bumps

Why do you all keep saying that

I need help?

I have a very strong opinion about men and cheating and if you look at it, I make very valid points but some of you (mostly anons) keep telling me to get help. I'm being realistic so why is it me that needs help and not the ladies that are living in the fantasy world that their "marriages are stronger because of infidelity" or "I know what my part was in his cheating"...WTF...both these concepts are absolutely insane ideas.


Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:51 PM on Dec. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (55)
  • I don't think you need help. Your only, what a year or maybe a little more, from finding out about your husband's affair. The anger, the hurt, the humiliation and so many other feelings are very fresh, very strong, and are still pretty consuming. My anger and hurt was like that during year 1, and my husband only had a ONS.

    I will say this to you though.. I do not understand your bitterness and anger that you display to woman here who have also experienced cheating and chose to work things out in their marriage. We all make our choices to stay or divorce for our own reasons. Each and everyone of us are individuals, so are our husband's, and so are our marriages. No 2 are the same. However, you choose to make (repeatedly) some very derogative and blanket statements in regards to women who stayed (which you did as well). This..I really do not understand.


    Answer by pixie_trix at 8:11 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I am sorry your husband did this to you'
    but now it is time to shit or get off the pot
    work on your marriage or leave your marriage
    help yourself and choose one of these options

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Hmm I dont know who you've been communicating with, but I agree with you. Perhaps these women that are okay with it, cheat themselves. Perhaps, cheating is becoming socially acceptable. Perhaps, it's culturally acceptable for some...who knows. Stick to your guns, cheating is toxic. Dont stay in a toxic relationship because of social pressure.

    Answer by 4heartbeats at 10:57 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I think I see where you are coming from....and anon....she is just saying that she dosnt understand why women will say things like "I understand my part in DH cheeting." To me that just sounds is it both of their fault if the man couldnt keep it in his pants or a woman couldnt keep her legs closed....

    Answer by Shelii at 10:58 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Cheating is not good?? I'm confused. Clearly I do not spend enough time on this site.

    Answer by Aquarius80 at 11:12 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Not sure what your asking.

    Answer by zboys at 10:52 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • me either

    Answer by beeandlacismom at 10:56 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • Because you're going majorly overboard with it all - you ask too many questions about cheating, etc, and just have a very negative outlook.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • I agree with your opinion on cheaters, cheaters will always cheat, it is not the non-cheater fault etc

    what I do not understand is why you do not leave, you have posted before and your name says it you think that you missed your chance to leave when he first was caught cheating. You can leave anytime after the cheat, it does not have a time limit, maybe a separation might do both of you some good. Maybe he would see that he is missing you, and maybe you will see that you do not miss him. I wish you the best, but I also agree with.... shit or get off the pot

    BE HAPPY, life is too short

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Dec. 19, 2010

  • You are not better than the women who offer their opinions on what they did when their husbands cheated. You are not yet to the "stronger" experience that you are so striving for, because obviously you have not left the cheating bastard. So don't judge until you are there. Then maybe you will understand.

    Answer by skitNbearsmom at 12:19 AM on Dec. 20, 2010