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having marriage problem, DH deployed (long)

Ok so a little background....When DH and I were dating, I cheated on him with a guy I worked with. We had a very flirty realationship, and finally escalated to talking about sex, etc. We only kissed once, and there were a few x rated pics exchanged, and then we sent each other videos of touching ourselves thinking about each other. Then I stopped because I didn't want it to go any further. DH found out about it and we had a really hard time getting back to the way things were. He eventually forgave me and I have been completely faithful to him since then, I don't even think about other guys or anything.

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Asked by Pinkie_momof3 at 12:26 AM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (3)
  • Now I don't really have a reason not to trust him, he was also flirty before we got too serious, but nothing really out of the ordinary. But now I am 32 weeks pregnant, he is three months into his deployement, and has been very suspicious of me and asking me all the time if I am cheating on him. He's also been really quick to get upset with me and say REALLY hurtful things. I am pregnant with his child and taking care of my other two sons (from a previous marriage) and he is basically living the single life over there hanging out with mostly guys in their early 20's who talk about sex and everything ALL THE TIME. And there are a lot of girls over there, young and single, and DH is a very good looking, charming man. I'm just wondering if he is really not over what I did to him before we got married, or if he is being unfaithful and feels guilty, and that's why he is acting this way towards me. What do you think?

    Answer by Pinkie_momof3 at 12:26 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I think its because he hasnt truly gotten over it completely and because being over there with single guys can boost his head up. Therefore making him feel jumpy towards you. Also because so much is going on there he is constantly thinking of what those guys are saying and then relying it back on you. Just try to be supportive as you can and try not to let him get to you . You and him need to have a boundary line for the situation. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Alright, Pinkie! You know I've always got your back. I think you need to talk to DH about everything. Get it all out on the table. If he can't accept the fact that you feel bad for the mistakes you've made, then that is his problem. How long til he gets back? Will he be back for the birth of his son? I don't think he'll cheat on you, and I have seen you two together, he wouldn't talk about any other girls or even think of doing anything with any chicks over there, He loves you. Plus his sister would kick his ass if he did! I don't think you have anything to worry about, just let him know what his accusations are doing to you and the stress of baby Johnny. If he knows anything yet about being pregnant, the stresses a spouse can put you under could cause problems. And He's going to come out of you all stressed out, and that's not good for any of you!

    Let me know. Love ya! Bumps

    Answer by mommy1208 at 12:44 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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