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Is it ok to let my son call my future husband daddy?

He calls my bf Daddy or Daddy Pete. His father has been out of our lives for over 6 months now. (Court battle for support starts in jan) He loves my son and treats him a million times better than his father ever did. I just dont want my son confused if he ends up with visitation with his father.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Only if it comes from him and not forced. One word of caution though, I know of a lot of women that had this situation where the guy was "wonderful" (me included) to their child until she gave the man a child of his own and then they did a 180 on the kid. So, it may not be the boys daddy coming back into the picture that should have you concerned, you may want to consider what if your new SO does something like what I mentioned. That could be an even bigger blow to the little guy.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:32 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • My DD calls SO dad occasionally. I don't discourage it but I don't tell her to either. She knows who her bio dad is...and he is a great dad. She chooses to call SO dad too.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:29 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I don 't think that there is anything wrong with calling a person Dad if the child feels comfortable doing so. My friend was going through this with her step DD. When her mother came back into her life she insisted that her child call her Mom and her step mom by her first name which was really confusing to this child b/c her mother only saw her about 4 hours a month by choice and was upset that her DD was comfortable enough to call her step mom Mom (btw bio mom walked away when she was 15 mos old she is 11 now). Let your child do what he feels comfortable with. He wants to call him Daddy then let him do so.

    Answer by coala at 9:34 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I don't think there's a thing wrong with it. Kids have a need to identify with those parental roles and if he's feeling like Pete is a daddy to him, let him call him Daddy.

    If/when biodad makes an appearance, he's going to have to accept that it's about his son and that his son has a NEED to have that role filled consistently.

    We've had foster children, who knew they'd go back to their parents, call us Mom and Dad before. Not at our request or insistence, but child-driven. It took me a long time to realize the kids needed it - it wasn't about me - it was about them.

    Good job, Mom :) Good luck :)

    Answer by AAAMama at 9:34 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • daddy pete sounds fine
    that way IF bio dad back in life
    son can call daddy ___

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:29 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Daddy Pete is great...........

    Answer by elizabr at 9:31 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I think it's ok, that's what we do in our house. My husband has been in my daughters life since she was 1 1/2, and she only saw her dad every other weekend at that time, then her dad moved away and he only saw her a few times a year for a few years. We've since moved to where her dad is, so he sees her every other weekend again, but she calls her step dad "daddy" and when we refer to her father, we say "daddy Mike".

    Answer by gumby11883 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Thanks

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:32 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • How does your BF feel about being called Daddy or Daddy Pete? If he does not mind then I would continue to allow the child to call him that. IF bio-dad does end up being a part of your child's life, you could tell him that he has 2 daddies-- Pete is is " mommy's husband and his everyday daddy" and X is the 'dad he was born to and sees sometimes'.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:34 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • He loves being called daddy. He feels like my son calls him that for a reason. Hes in my sons life and he does everything for my son. They play and read together. He helps make meals, get him dressed, and helps discipline him. We live together. My son just started calling him that one day and he said he was happy that my son thinks of him as daddy pete.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:41 AM on Dec. 20, 2010