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Suspicious of husband

Looking through my husband's phone, I found suspicious text messages between him and a woman. Yes, I know I should not have been looking, but whats done is done. What I want to know is, should I confront him about it? How would I even begin to bring it up?

I'm just a big mess right now, so hope this makes sense.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • depending on the text I would. I dont think my df needs to text any girls at all and I would confront him, same as if I were to text a man.
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 10:28 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • If you are going to go through his phone, then why not.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 10:29 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would confront him! If you are married then that is SOO unexceptable. Confront him, because if you dont he will asume you dont know about this other women and that relationship might grow.
    CassySchenk

    Answer by CassySchenk at 10:30 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • DON'T SAY A WORD!!!! Get more amo before you let him in on what you know. If you spill the beans to soon, it will just make him a better cheater. Act like nothing has happened until you have more information. Find out who she is by going to intellius.com and doing a reverse phone look up. What did the text messages say? And why should you not have been looking, your his wife...you have every right to look. Is he exhibiting any other "cheating spouse" behaviors like disappearing for extended periods when you can't reach him; changing his appearance; being over/underly affectionate with you. The truth is that if you suspect it, you are probably right and you need to have the amo so that he can't throw the "your crazy" chip in your face. Men think we are such idiots that will put up with all their shit for the sake of love and you know what, most of the time they are right.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:31 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Confront him since you already looked.
    tiddliwinks

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 10:31 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Most men lie to get out of the fact that they cheat or cheated. If you do confront him I would Google "signs someone is lying" first then confront him to make sure he isn't giving any signs he is lying about cheating.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 10:32 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Confront him. If you don't, it's going to eat at you and you're going to be constantly wary of his actions. Plus, if the roles were reversed, would it be acceptable for you to be doing that, or would he confront you?
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 10:33 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • STD's are no small matter..don't feel bad you were looking at his phone if you felt suspicious, cheating is a matter of life or death or herpes or genital warts or hepatitus C these days. Confrontations rarely lead to confessions..my x wouldn't have confessed if he was caught red handed in the middle of sex, he'd have probably lied and said he accidently fell and tripped and landed inside her. Watch him closely, men are stupid, they give off signals..women are inherently intuitive, listen to your gut. What was the nature of the text messages?
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:33 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • The girl had sent a chain message that said something like "Depression is best cured by sex, so make someone happy" or something like that. He sent one back that said "Haha what are you going to do to make me happy?". She said "Whatever you want". He then asked is she wanted him to come over and she said sure, etc...


    Typing this all out, it seems like there should be more than suspicion...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • i would not confront him
    he will only hide his actions better and you will have a harder time finding out the truth
    hard to do, but act dumb in front of him, be smart behide his back
    he will slip up if he is up to no good, he especially will slip up when you act like nothing is wrong, you suspect nothing and be dumb
    he will slip and you will find out the truth
    if nothing is going on, then you have just acted sweet and dumb for a while and have not lost anything

    i do not know about monitoring phone from bill, but you can go to a group on here... detective wives club... or something like that, lots of women who can give you ideas on how to find out what is going on. also you can get a computer program.. eblaster.. it will monitor his computer, costs around 100 bucks, i found out about my ex husband this way

    good luck
    and do NOT blame yourself
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:41 AM on Dec. 20, 2010

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