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What is wrong here?

My husband and I are having a lot of problems lately. Or maybe it's just me.. Sometimes I just don't feel attracted to him anymore. Like I don't want him to touch me, I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and I just don't find him as attractive as I used to. Could we have grown apart? We have a 4 month old daughter now, but I really don't think that is the problem. We have a lot of time to be together every now and then when she is sleeping or if my mom is watching her, but i'm just not intersted. What can this mean? Any Advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I went through this too after our baby was born.

    Your probably just so tired and distracted by the new baby that you don't have time to focus on him right now the way you use to. My advice is to try to put the SIZZLE back in the relationship.

    Think of something that you and him like to do together ( something you did when you were just dating) and make plans to do it. Surprise Him!! Relationships are hard work, good relationships are even MORE work.
    Give it some time and if nothing changes, you may want to consider your plans for the future and how he fits into the picture. You and that Baby are the #1 priority so do whatever is best for the both of you in the end.

    Good luck and take care!

    Answer by marriedw6kids at 1:31 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • IDK for sure but maybe you should try "dating", kind start over, don't take everything for granted, get to know each other again. When you have a baby you go through a lot of changes-physically and mentally and so does he. It changes everything and you need to reacquaint yourself with each other and all of those changes. Like I said, I don't know- just a thought.

    Answer by spencersgirl at 1:33 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • A lot of times your hormones are still out of whack at this point, which can really affect how you feel sexually. Also, even though it's a completely different kind of touching, when you have babies or small children, sometimes you can get "touched out", where, no matter how much you love your SO, you just really don't want ANYONE to touch you, make demands on you, etc.

    Something else to keep in mind, how involved is he with helping care for the baby, because sometimes new moms can get very caught up in being a mom, so they don't feel very sexual anymore, or their SO, for various reasons, aren't very involved in helping care for the baby, and resentments can start to affect that part of your relationship.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:18 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • cont

    Oh, and just because the baby isn't there with you doesn't mean you aren't still tired, and not up to it, or you think if it's not going to be "perfect" then why bother. I agree that maybe you should focus on connecting again, just the two of you, NOT as parents, and also, take some of the stress off of yourself. If you sort of feel in the mood, and you want to do it, then do it. You could be very surprised that you find you're in the mood after all ;-) (btw, I don't mean force yourself, just don't wait for it to all be fire and passion, every time with a new baby in the house).

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:18 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

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