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Jealous of BB

We have been together for almost five years, married for almost three. However, I still find myself JEALOUS of his ex wife. They talk but not very often, he doesn't like her very much for various reasons and the skids and I have a good relationship. So what's my problem? Is this normal?
I get jealous the most when she NEEDS him. For instance, my ss got hurt and had to get three stitches at the ER and she called him in a panic. He went there to be with his son however, he didn't stay because his son was fine. I also get jealous of the fact that she refers to herself as "Mrs. (dh last name)", it makes me feel like I am Mrs.DH PART 2.
I thought this would all get easier over time.!? But it still bothers me as much as EVER!

Anyone have any helpful advice or encouraging words?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • This is crazy, but I had this with DHs ex too. Until we had our daughter together. I am not telling to have ababy you arent ready to have, but that was the one thing that she shared with him that I couldn't understand. Until I got pregnant, then it all changed. I think that was all it was. She has a part of him that I didn't. Hope that makes sense.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:39 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Yea just remember he is with YOU NOW and LEFT HER for SOME REASON. Why be jealous of her when you have it all? Think about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I totally agree with anon 1:28.

    you got the prize :)

    don't let your insecurities get the better of you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I would try to work out the jealousy issues. You are the second wife and sadly that is something that will be there. Also she has a child with him and if he gets hurt like getting stiches regardless of how many stitches she will get panicky...Just like if it were your natural child. You need to realize she will call and tell him about the kids. Also, about the last name, it could be because its easier than having a different last name than her kids. I would tell your hubby of your jealousy issues and tell him that you are feeling like a third wheel and I am sure he will reassure you that you are not. Communication is the key to all relationships. {even relationships with your spouses ex}

    Answer by nyteowl at 1:30 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I understand that feeling because I'm sort of jealous of my boyfriend's ex wife. I ponder why I feel that way and I've pinpointed that it is because she had all these years with him. She doesn't threaten anything at all in our life together. But when I hear stories of their past, it sort of annoys me (I don't let him know that I feel that way) but I feel sort of babyish having those emotions - but they are there whether I like it or not. I guess in time they will fade.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • You know I guess that is the thing... about the stitches. Well, I was a single Mom for 6 years and I NEVER called my ex to the hospital. I would take care of it on my own. I guess that is difference between me and her... I don't need "him" for everything. - Last week our baby got a burn and I took her to the hospital and got her treated and called him when I got home.
    Maybe I just feel like she uses the kids to get his attention.... I guess her and I are just SO different.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Maybe she does but don't worry about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Maybe you're more jealous of their connection than anything. Maybe try to make your connection with your husband more special in new ways- then you'll be less jealous.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 AM on Nov. 9, 2008