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How can I be a good role model for her and how can I help her step-mother understand her better?

My boss has a pre-teen daughter (10) who is overweight and who has come from a rough time with her mother who abused alcohol, did not care very well for her and her brother, etc.

My boss has issues with her being overweight and wants her to be healthy and lose weight, but she has a hard time understanding her as she has always been very thin and healthy.

The step-daughter wants a lot of attention which is hard for my boss as she works a ton managing two branches, she has never had kids and is still adjusting to having them around (they recently moved in with her and her husband).

I am going to offer to be her step-daughter's "Big Sister" and want to be a good role model for her to show her how to not only live healthy, be active and such but also to help her have a good time and get some of that one-on-one attention she desires.

How can I be a good role model to her and help her step-mother become more understanding of what her step-daughter is going through in growing up as she has thus far and where she wants to go in life, etc?

 
Memigen

Asked by Memigen at 12:01 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 27 (30,799 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Wow, that is so kind and generous of you. As for being a good role model I would try to stress that it is about being healthy, not about a number on a scale, and that it is about treating herself well because she deserves it. She probably has really low self esteem so hopefully you can help her bring that up by showing her all of her good qualities and helping her develop them. As for the Step-mom, that's tough, how do you get someone to put themselves in someone else's shoes? That's really what she needs to do here, maybe a little family counseling would go a long way in helping her understand her step-daughter's needs, that she isn't just a chubby girl who needs to diet but that this is a symptom of other problems that she needs to be sensitive to. Or maybe there is a book you could find for her that would give her some insights. Again I say kudos to you for your kindness- sometimes it just takes one person to step up.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:10 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • If this is a new situation I might give them time to get their lives and schedules combined until I offered my services. You might get in the way of the step parenting relationship which is building. Great thoughts and good luck!!!
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 12:06 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Family counselling.
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 12:04 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I feel strongly for the step-daughters situation because I was always overweight and still am and I am working on becoming more healthy. I think that maybe if she see's someone in the same situation it won't be such an unattainable goal to become healthy in life. :)

    I also want to be there for her as I know how much I needed that emotionally growing up and my mom worked so much it was hard for her to offer me the support I needed.
    Memigen

    Comment by Memigen (original poster) at 12:19 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Oh, and it's been almost a year since they moved in. Then the step-daughter moved back to mom's house and recently came back to stay. So it is a new situation for them but it isn't completely brand new.
    Memigen

    Comment by Memigen (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Dec. 20, 2010