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4 Bumps

I need help, advice, direction, answers .. something. *UPDATE

As a little girl I was molested and raped my a distant family member for years. I never told because I was scared and ashamed. As I got older I was having a conversation with my brother about how just because this family member is buying him alcohol doesn't mean he is a cool/fun person. I told him that in my opinion this family member was a horrible person. My brother replies "didn't he rape you when you were little"? I asked him why he thought that and who had said that. He didn't want to answer and we never talked about it again. I have recently noticed that he and my sister are now friends with him on facebook. This man has already been to prison for raping another little girl. It is well known what kind of man he is.
My question is if my next move is something that I should do or not.

I want to talk to them and tell them that if they are friends with him and are going to keep in contact with him that I can no longer be family to them. My sister is 17 and brother 18. I am very hurt and confused about this. I know that maybe I am not thinking clearly.

*******SO I talked to my brother and sister. I told them what happened and that I felt it was important for them to know there is a man like that in their lives. They said they knew he had done something and that he isn't suppose to be around littler girls. I told my sister that meant anyone under the age of 18. So after this conversation I said that I just wanted her to know that if she is going to have him in her life I can no longer be in hers. Not to be harsh but I just couldn't handle it. Couldn't understand how they wouldn't feel the same way I would if someone molested either of them.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Be honest with them, they don't know.... I would talk to my brother, what is up with that....

    You should not be ashamed, or embarrassed... You did nothing wrong, he did. Hold your head up, and do what is right for your sister, family is family. You can't tell someone not to speak to someone because you hate them. You can tell them why and let them be their own judge.

    He sounds like a peace of garbage. Sorry you were hurt.. Best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:55 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Talk to your parents about this contact the prison let them no he is talking to underage children.

    Answer by peace013 at 12:56 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Definitely peace013. If he continues to keep contact and talk to underage children than he can rape someone again. I would let my family know what had happened with you because of that monster. Anyway if your brother knows that you were raped by him and he still keeps contact with him it is a big big problem and he should need to go and talk to someone professional. Because if he will think about your relative as a role model than he can follow that behaviour:( Where are your parents? Talk to them as well. And go to the police and record what happened with you when you were a child. Keep that animal away from your family. Or if they choose him than keep him away from yourself.

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 1:06 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Your brother and sister need your more now than ever! You are one of the only ones who know the truth about this man. He is buying alcohol for your brother.. how long do you think it will be until your sister joins them? She could be who he has his eye on. Please don't break contact with them. And I agree with peace013.. you really need to tell someone about what he's doing. It's against the law and it looks like he is setting up to reoffend.
    You have done nothing wrong, HE did (and still is)... ((hugs))

    Answer by brandyj at 1:07 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • You need to tell all. As awful as it is, they need to know. EVERYONE needs to know.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:09 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • tell all- get him put away longer!! Maybe your brother was raped too? Talk about it and get some help!! It will make you feel better. I am sorry you have to go through this.

    Answer by chefjen at 1:09 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would talk to your siblings and tell them what he did before I even considered distancing myself from my siblings...they don't know and they NEED to know, you NEED to tell them...

    Answer by the_kimmers at 1:10 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • That would hurt me too, they're befriending the man who raped you??? That's messed up..they should want to beat him senseless and leave him for dead if you ask me..not that that's the right thing to do, just saying...

    Answer by chocolatluver at 1:10 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Wow! I didn't expect so many replies! Thank you all so much!! Really, thank you!
    My mother and I no longer have a relationship and brother and sister have a different father than I. The situation is so complicated. I am taking your advice and going to tell my brother and sister. Not sure what they really know, they were pretty little when this happened. My mom let this man live with us after he got out of prison for raping that little girl.(my situation happened before he went to prison) I have told my mother and she didn't say a word. They with their father.
    I hope this makes sense.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:25 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • My brother and sister live with their father is what I meant to say.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:27 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

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