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How do i make my happy holidays happy again?

I found out that my grandma passed today. Everything just seems so well just not happy. Im at a loss of what to do to cheer myself up. I know that there is nothing that is going to make everything bad go away but I dont want my son to see me so upset around christmas whe its suposed to be such a happy time. I feel like I dont have anyone to talk to and it is making things so much harder. I knew that my grandma was going down hill but I thought she would make it past the holidays. I have lost so much of my family in the past 2 years that it feels like there is just noone left. Can someone please help....

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Holidays

Answers (6)
  • I am so sorry for your loss, but try to put up a front for your child I am sure your grandma would want you to do this. Hugs from me!

    Answer by older at 2:29 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I understand. It's really hard, my husband died this year so my family and I are really having a tough time of it. I disagree with "put up a front", although I do think you should do the best you can. It's important for children to see us when we're sad, to learn that we can be happy again, to learn that Mom is human, to know that people can heal from loss, and to know that there is nothing wrong with grieving a loss. I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma.

    Answer by Gaccck at 2:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Im so sorry you lost your grandma :( I understand you not wanting to be upset around your son. You could try and focus on the positives...write down everything positive about your life that you could possibly think of.That way everytime you think about your loss you can reflecton what you have. Im not sure if you of your religious preference but I know when Im feeling really low, I pray and ask for strength and peace. Feel free to msg me if you need to vent. I care.

    Answer by Kaye924 at 2:48 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Holidays are hard for my family too. My husband was killed by a drunk driver and we miss him a lot - all of the time, but especially during the holidays. To try to stay positive, we bake cookies together, we listen to Christmas music, we watch Christmas movies, we light a candle in his memory and share stories about him too, so that he's a part of the holiday with us. My daughter hangs an ornament on the tree "for daddy", one that was purchased especially for that purpose. Focus on all of those good times you had with your loved one and be grateful that you had that time together. Of course it is sad that she's not here anymore, and I agree that it's ok to feel sad. It's ok to let your children know that "mommy is feeling sad", as long as it's shared within reason. That way, they can feel proud that they're taking care of you and helping you to feel better.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:49 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I am very sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel I lost my father not long ago and I have been having a hard time getting into the spirt of christmas ( I finally just put up my tree), however I'm not sure how old your children are but I have found that just talking with my children about the things that we miss about there grandpa have helped me to see that they are hurting about the loss and it is nice to be able to talk to someone about how I feel and at the same time they are able to say how they feel. I don't think you will or should be able to pretend that everything is fine, but it may be helpful for both of you to just sit talk laugh and possibly even cry if your kids don't see you cry then they don't know how they are suppose to feel. I hope that this helps and just remember that your grandma will always be with you in your heart and memories.

    Answer by outofoptions67 at 3:53 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I am sorry honey. What I do is talk about the good Grandma memories. Talk, talk , talk. If you really can't feel free to pm me I would love to talk to you.
    Tell your son that you are a little sad because you miss her. It is okay for your son to know the truth. I try to be open with my losses to my kids. Take one day at a time and give him hugs that may help too. Good luck honey you will make it.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:35 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

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