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Sexual Abuse..

What are the signs of a 4 yr old girl being sexually abused?
What would I look out for?
Any ideas to help this from not happening?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (11)
  • Look for any bruises in her little area and on her thighs.
    Look for her being skittish around someone that she generally isn't (potential abuser).
    Simply ask her one day (in a playful kind of way so as not to scare her or make her think she is in trouble) if anyone has touched her lady parts.

    To help keep it from happening, talk to her. Talk to her about strangers, but also about close friends and family. Tell her no one is to touch her there without you (the mom) in the room.

    Good Luck honey, I hope she is OK.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:37 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Poster here:
    I was wondering because I just want to be prepared for anything. My daughter started preschool not too long ago and this is a fear of mine for a while. My daughter is 4, but she is not the best talker. She understands more then she says, but I dont know if she would understand what I would be telling her about her lady parts etc. This is what scares me the most, because she is not a good talker. Thanks!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • here are some up front tips on what to teach your kid(s) on safety with "strangers".

    Answer by 4xmommy2008 at 3:12 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • This is the BEST age to start the talks.
    Good Touch - Bad Touch.
    1. Any where your bathing suit covers is OFF limits to anyone else.
    2. Not all bad touches are in those spots.. Any touch that makes you uncomfortable is bad touching.
    3. Have the child list who they can tell if someone makes them uncomfortable.
    4. That they will NEVER get in trouble if they tell. No matter what anyone else tells them.

    I am currently seeing a profesional councelor about this issue. .. there are a lot of things I never thought about.. this is a scary world we live in.. and our kids need to know we are here to protect them... and the best way to protect them is to INFORM them

    Answer by 4xmommy2008 at 3:14 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • my 4 year old has been sexually abusedit was her behaivour,it was just very naughty,kids go through age stages but hers was way over the top.i would talk to her pre-school and consider these other answers as these will help,she wouldnt come home with me when he was there,she kept wetting herself and still does this today,do ask her in a playful way,ask her who get her to point to she doesnt like,tell her she wont be in trouble if she is to tell,clingy behaivour,and watch for closed doors during bedtimes,aggressive behaivoir the one who you think is doing,always aggitated,if hes there with her you close with who think it mite be.i have been teaching what that part of her body is,showing her pictures and it working for me,being quite isnt always best thing,if she doesnt talk get her to talk through pictures,if you do get some information and a name,go to the police,do it gradually as to not frightned her

    Answer by cruizymum at 4:02 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • There are many books in your local library that help parents begin to disguss how to talk to children about abuse. You always want to make sure you are age appropriate. You can start by giving her names you want her to use for her private parts. She doesn't have to talk. One way to see if she knows and remembers is ask her to show you on a doll where is the dolls.......(fill in the blank). This way you know she gets it. I always have used the wording "the area the bathing suit covers" as well. But I know many professionals who do not use the wording "good touch / bad touch because some "bad" touches feel good. I've never cared either way. But some are sensitive to it. You can also call your local sexual assault center. They get these calls all the time

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:09 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • cont..
    of parents just wanting to know how to make sure there kids have the knowledge and how to try and reduce their risks of being abused. They usually also have free literature and age appropriate hand outs for parents to use. And for parents who have ever been sexually abused themselves this can be a very scary topic. Sometimes they need someone to talk to as well. I always love when parents are so pro-active. It is obvious you are a great mom and care enough to give her the information. Some parents don't feel that this topic is appropriate for any kid.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:12 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Little girls have a thin layer of skin over the opening,Look to see if it is still there.Its easy to see.An at four it sould be there.Take her to the dr an have them check her an tell them why you are concerned ,make the appointment over the phone an make it known then.So you dont have to share it in the office window.I take my children yearly an they always check them.I have a great dr.Some dr wont check or get involved ,if so you need a new dr.There are many ways to abuse a child just because the skin is still there wont mean some thing else hasnt happen.But you will only no that one part didnt or did.

    Answer by fearful5 at 12:10 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • If she can talk try and have her point it out. some times it is better if you have your mother or your husbands mother talk to her. Sometimes grandmothers are able to talk to the girls better and they are more comfortable on talking.

    Look out for how close people are to her and how they act around her if they are wanting to be in bed with her take naps alone with her.

    If you dont know this is hapening you cant help it but if you do figure out what is going on devorce if it is your husband, get her out of the day care, take her away from the people doing anything to her and if you have proof take it to the police. If you are able to set up a vidio camra or even a tape player to where no one can see it try doing some thing like that

    Answer by alangel17 at 3:46 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • cont.
    a four year old depending on there communication and there personality my experience is that they will either act out being mean, dont want touched, dont want anything to do with you or opposite being very clingy to you and dont want you to leave there side. there may be other reasons to why there behavior has changed if you know anything that has happened talk to someone in the family that you trust or talk annonymously to a help line or just in case take her to the hospital if it is in desperate need.
    Have her tell you if she understands ok touch or inappropriate touch and have her explain it to you if she is able to talk or do it in a mannor on how your child learns. see if she will tell you something or go to the person who she is most wanting to talk to or comfortable in talking to. sometimes your gut feeling will tell you the problem you never can be too causious of your child
    I hope everything is ok

    Answer by alangel17 at 3:51 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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