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CS question......or rant.....

I had to apply for Foodstamps. When it asked about the absent parent of my 2 boys I listed there father's info. Then it said "Would your safety be at risk if we pursued child support?" I put....."Do not give him my physical address. He has a contact phone and address for me and that is how I want to keep it." I put that due to him threatening to come through my window in the middle of the night to shoot me. We already have a child support case on which he owes $15,000 in arrears and has never paid a dime. Long story. Anyways, the DHS worker coded my case "Good Cause" and i just got papers from child support division saying that the case is closed, there is NO current support order anymore, and they have "satisfied" the debt so there is no longer any back support owed. WTF????? So now he NEVER has to pay for his kids??? He NEVER sees them because he is too busy getting high and can't pass a UA (which was ordered by the courts due to his history of drug use). I am barely sliding by. My kids are getting 1 toy and 1 pair of pants for xmas because I lost my job and have to focus what little money we have left on paying the rent for another month. What the hell am i supposed to do? The deadbeat just got married this month so i was kind of looking forward to childsupport tacking onto her tax returns to pay his child support. He doesn't work but she does and she supports him so they don't have to pay out for his child support. GRRRRRRR!!!!! Why do things not seem to work out in my favor? I have supported my kids for the past 7 years by myself. He has only seen them 4 times in that period. Doesn't even call them. Why make it easier on the deadbeat?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You need to pick up the phone and start rattling some cages.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:00 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • some mistake has been made,you need to really look into this.

    Answer by grismelda at 4:03 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • hmmm, IDK. I guess when you file for foodstamps they have to file for child support from the father. I don't get why they would have cancelled it.

    But even if they reinstate it, don't count on money from a joint tax return. All they have to do is file "married filing seperatly".

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • yeah, don't let him/them get away with this.

    unless of course he has settled the debt and you'll get a $15,000 check in the mail soon, which both you and i can highly doubt.

    Answer by keisha613 at 4:06 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I feel for you, I really do, but I am old school and have always felt that no one should have children unless both parents are fully capable of 100% care for their child all on their the event of death, divorce, whatever. Child support shouldn't be a guarantee. We don't spend $200-300 a month per child to care for them...with or without children we would still have rent, groceries, utilies, etc.. Yeah, groceries cost more when we had 4 children to buy for, the utility bills were just a little higher than they are with just 2 of us now, etc. but we didn't spend $800-$1200 a month on those things. Parents who pay child support pay more with support than they would if they lived in the home and provided care. It sucks that your ex doesn't have to pay child support, it does, but that's what's been handed to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I have care for my kids 100% on my own all of these years. We just fell on hard times with losing my job and all. Yes, to pay child support is to pay more than if you were actually living in the household yourself. Maybe he should have thought of that before he decided to have an orgy in my bed while I was at work. Fortunately I came home early and found them (him and 3 girls...WTF?) in the act. So I packed up the kids, that he was supposedly "watching" but was in fact getting his jollies off. They kids were blocked off in their room crying when I cam home (probably why he didn't hear me drive up).

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:18 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I do not know how you think that it does not cost in excess of $400-$500 a month extra for a child. Preschool, clothes, different types of food, activities, lessons, transportation, on and on. I exceed that in just classes, preschool, and activities.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:21 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • tootoobusy: I think what she meant was that if you are paying the bills at the home in which you live PLUS child support it costs more than just paying for the bills and living with your kids in the house.

    I can see that. But then again....if he would have been a better father I would not have even went for child support.

    I don't charge my daughter's father child support because he is a part of her life and fair. If she wants to be in karate he will pay for half of the cost, he apys half the cost of daycare, etc. He is a good man and good father. Just because him and I didn't work out he still is there for his child.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:39 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Okay...I've been in a similiar situation as you and until you stop blaming the father for not stepping up to the plate to take care of his responsibilities, you'll still be in the same rut you're in 7 years from now...when I left my ex husband, I knew that he would not support our boys. I knew that the only way to make it was for me to stand up to the plate and do what needed to be done to make sure our children had the things they needed and not depending on my ex to pay child support because it wasn't happening. I understand you're on hard times right now but cs doesn't look promising anytime soon so you've got to take that step to make sure your children are taken care of without the cs and if and when it does come in, it will be extra to save...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:41 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Forget the fair deal, get child support set up.

    Answer by grismelda at 11:44 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

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