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My husband's adult children (ages 23-21) don't ever get him anything for Christmas,

They are always calling and asking him for things, some he says yes to ($20 here and there) some he says no to (co sign on an apartment) I think he does a lot for them, but they never think about him.

I know they want more, but we are hurting for money and are raising 2 little ones.

Should I call them and say something? He would appreciate socks or something just to show they think about him other than an ATM machine.

 
Bubbie0809

Asked by Bubbie0809 at 5:59 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (47,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I'd call and tell them just a card for dear old dad would be nice. What rude, spoiled children he has.
    meandmyshadow

    Answer by meandmyshadow at 6:01 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't. Do you really think you'd change their minds? If they don't have it in their hearts to think of him,nothing you say will change that
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:01 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Sometimes it's hard to know what to get Dad for Christmas, especially adult children. With my FIL, sometimes we get him stuff, other times, we don't (I don't mean just DH and I, I mean everyone--aside from his wife). I mean with both FIL & MIL, they both have everything they could possibly want or need and trying to find that special gift is hard. But if you know something that your DH might like, you may suggest to them as a gift idea. They may just not have a clue what to get or think that he doesn't want or need anything.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 6:12 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would say something. Tell them how much he helps them but they dont show their appreciation enough. If nothing is said then they'll just continue to use him
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:11 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • im not sure if i would say anything.. they are only in their early 20's.this is a time for them to make mistakes and to lean on ole pops when they need to.. if all they ask for is 20 bucks every now and again.they are doing pretty good..and at this age they only think of themselves.. its not like they are diong it to hurt him. if i did anything.socks are only 10 dollars a pack.. so I would buy something small (nothing to expensive.. ) and put it under the tree from them... joined or separate your choice.. then when they see how much it means to dear old dad.. they may catch on and start to get them something themselves.. and either tell them when they get there... right before gifts are open..or after gifts are open "i decided that you I would get your dad something from you guys to make his Christmas a little better.. next time its on you though." so you can put the idea in their head without having to "ask" them to do i
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Let your husband handle this. You don't want to be in the middle. Does he have anything to say about this? If I were him, I would have to tell them that he feels unappreciated and since you are raising two small kids that he doesn't have the money to give them. They are grown up, now they need to act like one.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:09 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • No, it's his place to let them know how he feels. You could also let them know your feelings, but do so in person. You're all adults; you should each speak for yourself.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:35 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I wouldn't accuse them or say anything about them not getting him anything in the past, but I would call and just say "have you bought a gift for your dad yet? If you haven't I have some great ideas." And then give them the list. That should get the point across without being confrontational.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:22 PM on Dec. 21, 2010